New too this- depression and anxiety

I can feel myself getting sad again. It's a feeling that's always there and some days I forget it's even there. But out of nowhere it hits me, I can feel it creeping up and it makes me feel weak because I can't control my emotions. I try to tell myself that I'm just being over dramatic but that doesn't make me not feel how I feel. Wether I want to admit it or not I can't deny that I am not in control of how I feel some days. Now that I know what I suffer from it's easy to look back and realise that this has been something I've always dealt with, I just thought it was normal. But for as long as I can remember i also have been telling myself that it will get better. That's what everyone who's over come depression and anxiety says right-that it will get better. I don't it's just moments when I feel myself getting down again for no real reason that make me question why it hasn't gotten better or if it ever will which is a daunting thought. I hate being nervous all the time and feeling uneasy or emotionally unstable. I do have some support from family and friends which I do appreciate. They only ever really realise how bad It can get after I've had a major panic attack, they don't really realise that me sleeping and staying in my bed unmotivated is also a side effect not just me being lazy and not trying. I wanna try I just can't see the point some days. Anyway I'm just on here to find people who understand and can relate so I don't feel so crazy. TIA xx