No pressure, no diamond... But
(Trying to make this as short as possible, bear with me)
im 23 years old and I literally feel like I'm well in my 40's. Growing up my family did what they could to provide, including adopting me as an infant but I knew I always had to overachieve to beat poverty. I'm grateful for work experience, but am honestly burnt out having worked full time, non stop and sometimes multiple jobs since 16. Even my friends ask me why I work so hard. None of the people I could think of as friends have never really had to work for anything or have had financial hardships and that's been challenging to share my feelings as well. I've done my best to build my resume, even moving abroad for my career and I feel like I'm not enough. People say they wish they had the opportunity to travel etc. but although I live miles away from home I still feel like the socially awkward, isolated person I was home. Naturally I'm an intro wet, but my almost fear of poverty and failure is costing me joy. I haven't had any good romantic relationships and few platonic as I hate being measured my material things and what I look like. At the end of the day, I just want to provide for my family and help my community. I've tried talking to relatives, but the "it's ok, pat pat" thing doesn't help reality. I'm even trying a social media fast since it seems all of my "friends" are marrying, having children etc. and as usual, I feel left out its just tiring trying to change and it matters to no one
@Thinking14, that sounds like a very stressful, overwhelming way to live. With all that work, it sounds as though you can't find the time and sense of calm and security to build up relationships and enjoy life. You sound like a very responsible and ambitious person to me, and I admire the fact that you are trying to improve your financial situation and grow, as well as give back to the community. But to me, it seems as though you're doing this at the cost of your own happiness. That driving force inside you is your biggest friend and enemy all at the same time.
I will not tell you that it's ok, because it really doesn't sound as though it is. I also don't presume to know how hard it is for you to keep afloat financially. All that I want to let you know is that here, you are heard. We're here to support you, and if you ever feel like talking, you could always pm me. I wish you all the strength you need.
