No purpose

Processing information or a situation is never linear. For example, my dad the other week basically had said that I shouldnt consider teaching as a job since I would be bullied by students about my short height. At that moment, I stood my ground and explained that my height will not define my teaching whatsoever. Now however, my thoughts are twirling and Im feeling emotional thinking about all of my failed relations — intimate and friendly. Do i deserve to live a life filled with love and healthy relations or am I destined to attract people who just take and leave? I always want to live my life with positive intentions, but it doesn’t seem possible or realistic at the moment. I dont think i can be a good teacher now, and i dont think im strong enough to start with. My depression is like a never ending rollarcoaster and right now I hate coping with it.