Numbness
Hi there. I never thought after all these years that I would seek for help. I have lots of things to write about but this one I need to get off my chest. I know that some of you will find it stupid or other stuff but here it goes. So, this is a story of me and almost 13 years old dog. I got my dog before my 4th birthday. It was a best day ever and it's my first childhood memory. So as you can see I have grown up with my little fella. Three years ago I brought another dog and two years ago I brought two cats. They helped him to be more active. I thought that he will live longer since they can live 18 years. But today my dream was crushed. My dog for these couple of days had problems with walking and yesterday my dad found something on his paw. We took him to get today and it turns out its a tumor. He operated it today and he hardly walks. My dad is carrying him to field so he can do what he has. It just heartbroking to know that a dog you call and love like a brother is just this weak. I mean he it's properly I guess but this just hurts. Now we have to wait 2 weeks to see if it's bad or good tumor and is there hope for him. And I have to go back to school in other country too but I can't live him alone again even if it's second year. So please help me.
@Lele4 I had to leave my dog in another country, after 4 years I had the chance to visit him again...he was so thin and old and misstreated...i gave him a salami I brought with me though I knew he liked my childhood strawberries. I saw in his eyes that joy of of him recognising me telling me "you came back after all" followed by the sadness and tiredness I saw in his eyes...that was our last embrace and last good bye...a fist full of childhood memories with a lost dog...
I had tumours and soon probably they will come back, but I will never be missed like I miss my dog...
@KristaMelena I'm so sorry to hear that... That was probably awful. I hope you get better I mean you will be missed. And also thank you for sharing your story with me. It means a lot.
@Lele4 no matter what happens he will live in your soul, through you. We do not know what lies beyound the line but we know this: we can keep our lost ones in our souls as long as we live. I pray there is an "Incredible Dr.Pol" out there tofix him and tell you it is nothing and then someone to help you with the beureaucratic procedures if you want to bring him with you to another country, otherwise just know he will be loved with your folks at home. Whatever happens is just life but I so wish ot will turn out allright for you...
@KristaMelena You are right. I can't thank you enough for making time to read and help me. It really means a lot that there are people that understand and will try to help you even if they don't know you.
@Lele4 I didn't help you with smth useful, I just felt for what you feel right now and stirred my soul...I thank you too for bringing back my memmories...you are a good person with a good soul.
@KristaMelena Belive me, it helps when some hears you out and tries to help you and you did. You shared your story with me and it helped. I can see that you are a good person too with a good heart and soul.
My parents make me numb to the world with the amount of blame they place on my shoulders and blatant insensitivity to my feelings on certain issues, they always linn the blame on me and from my perspective are controlling, narcisstic and sociopathic.
Currently I feel absolutely horrible but numb inside, all I need is help or to leave them forever, they're dead to me and broke my trust treating me like a kid
@Priyanka707 Im going through the same situation. My mom hates me and she misunderstands me a lot. I try to make her understand in my very best ways but all in vain, she sticks to her opinion. She thinks that I hate her because of me being a girl. Had I been a son child of her I would have loved her- she concluded.
But I love her the most
@AaheliJana I'm sorry to hear that, I also feel sometimes she'd love me better as a boy, with parents like these the best thing to do is to ignore them and don't let them degrade your self esteem either, I know its hard in the beginning but once you get a hang of it you won't even care anymore because of your self love forbidding you to cry over narcissists
@Priyanka707 why is this shit happening?! I still couldn't find where's the fault😔
@AaheliJana unfortunately there is no such thing as perfect parents however were stuck with the special few who make us feel like we're not good enough, as long as you know you're more than enough then who gives a beezlebub about where the fault is. They're probably failing in the own life and inflicting the frustration out on you which is pathetic and something you don't desrve
