Overwhelmed but underwhelmed
I have lived a life so far that has been filled with familial turmoil and different relational chapters and struggles. I’ve found a home within myself this past pandemic’s isolation period. Recently, i spoke with a case manager from my university in hopes of me connecting to a long-term therapist for a healthy outlet to talk the many thoughts that occur in my mind which inhibits some day-to-day function. Like, waking up and getting out of bed can be bothersome some days. Or even feeling incapable is common for me too.
But trying to find a therapist has been both overwhelming and underwhelming. Most do not accept my insurance, and if they do, i don’t connect with them or they aren’t responsive to my needs. I’ve had some experience with psychotherapy before. Therefore, i expect this sort of back and forth limbo in trying to connect with someone for long-term therapy. Its underwhelming in that i know im the best person that can help me.
Its hard to deal with such depressive episodes to begin with, i cant begin to imagine how i can pay for these services. I have to get a stable job first. I have graduate college first. theres so much to prioritize before committing to a mental health bill. Thats not reflective of my values, but the world i live in! Until then, i know i am home. I know i am safe and capable. I just have to keep reminding myself of this abundant human experience :):
To the person reading, thank you for taking the time in reading a glimpse into my thoughts. I hope your day is wonderful and you feel heard, yourself.
@ambitiousbeach333
I did read your (very well-written) post, and resonated a lot with it with my past self. I feel there is so much to be said for holding on during the storms of life. And, as you said, so much of what we experience that way (especially with compound stress) is really just a part of the human condition and human experience.
Props to you for recognizing that, and finding that home within yourself to hold on to during these difficult times. :)
Hi! Thank you for your listen and kind words! Finding home within ourselves doesn’t always come naturally easy for me, but I find it’s worthwhile to come back to ourselves during overwhelming times of stress. I hope you are enjoying your Fall season wherever you are and staying warm! xx