Piling up

Hi all,

A little background. I'm 34 years old, and for the past 10 years I've been on a path of self-improvement. I moved out of a toxic environment in my hometown to a different state, established myself and went back to school, getting 2 degrees in my new career field, then moved to another state to live with my brother and his wife to get started on my new career.

Since I've been here, I've come to realize that there is not as much demand for my career as originally anticipated. Much of my time is spent sitting around waiting for work, which means too much time to sit and think about how low I am. I can't pick up a "normal" job, just because it would get in the way of my career work, and it would defeat the entire purpose of my being here, but while I'm near a fairly large city, there is little opportunity to make money in other ways like Uber, etc.

I'm making less money than I ever have since I started working, I have little support from my family here because they expect me to be more successful than I am, and I cannot go out and meet people because every time I take my car out it's gas money out of my pocket. I'm alone, and I've taken to isolating myself because I feel like such a failure. I know it's the location, but I don't have the option to move again at least until next summer.

Real hell is a life gone wrong, and that's where I'm residing. I don't know how to get out, all I can do is wallow in it. I've done so much only to find myself at the bottom.