Pushing people away
I seem to have a problem. I always seem to push people away, of course not physically but emotionally. I feel alone and there is nothing I can do about it, or if there is I don't know if I can follow through with it based on the fact that I have lived this way for so long. I over analyze everything. I don't make friends because I am too busy having a pretend conversation in my head about how it will go and all the variations of said conversation. Base on this mach-conversation I will determine wether or not I talk to said person but by the time I either figure out that it's ok, or not and because of my depression and outlook on life it's more likely a very bad ending to the mach-conversation, I lose the opportunity to talk to said person and I'm left alone. Because of this I can feel alone in a crowed room always judging my action and actions that will come base on previous. The worst of it is I end up pushing away those that I can get close to. I end up over analyzing thier conversation s even more, always trying to find out why they said this or what could they have really ment by saying this. It almost sounds like I'm parinoid. But because of my constant questioning I end up saying something that hurts them or myself because I read too much into it. It's gotten to the point that I hardly talk to.my family anymore and it always seem like my fiancee hates me for how I think. I guess I just want to know... What do I do?
You are not alone. I am guilty of the same. My best friend & I just had a discussion/argument over this. I don't know how to be any other way. It makes sense to me, but I understand it hurts others.
Have you tried telling yourself that people do actually like you? I know it's hard to imagine - it used to be for me too. Then i realised how many people speak to me in one day, and that they wouldn't do that if they didn't want to. It's hard to appreciate yourself, but I hope you can learn to understand that people do like you, for good reason, and you have a right to have friends and acquaintances.
Hi there. I know how hard this is, I have been there long time ago and I can tell you what helped me. I basically continued overanalizingeverything, but I decided to do it while with the person. So I just put myself out there (was really hard at first), got some odd looks at first, but with practice I actually got better at it and became friends with some along the way. I had to cope with being rejected at first which was difficult. I somehow got in my head I had nothing to lose and got sort of numb to rejection. With time it paid off. Hope it helps. Best of luck :)