Repeating

March 16th 2021 I was rushed into my local ER with countless injuries. The injuries were from my own actions. After years and years of keeping my thoughts and feelings to myself I made the choice of (Edited by Tazzie for triggering content in order to maintain user safety) jCountless broken bones, lost kidney and gal bladder and significant head trauma is what I woke up to days later along with family members by my side looking at me with sadness and confusion. I don't know how to talk to anyone directly and I always fake a smile and move on but this time it's not really fooling anyone. I'm currently in a wheelchair and will be for a few more months and my head is in a dark place once again. I was thinking about when my legs are finally healed how I can throw myself off a Portland building this time and it is becoming more overwhelming than last time. Idk what to do or who I need to speak to. Any advice or anything at all would be greatly appreciated. Sorry for the dark background story