Replacement
Everyone I have ever known has replaced me. I tend to overthink but is it really overthinking when it’s true? All my insecurities have been proven to me time and time again, and everyone leaves and replaces me. It’s not like i choose bad people or I’m a bad person, I’m just not good enough. I try my best to be the best possible person I can be and it never works out, it just feels like everything I do is pointless and every bond I form has no point because this person will find someone better than me anyway. I understand fully that everyone has their ups and downs but sometimes I feel the pain of the downs is just too painful and it makes the ups not worth it, so maybe I should try and lock away basic human emotion. As much as I wish I could I find that to be impossible because I care so much about people I form bonds with no matter how much they hurt and replace me. I’m never good enough but they’re good enough in my eyes, I don’t see why I’m not enough. And I’m not just overthinking these things anymore either, everything I have said about how I feel is unfortunately true, and everyone is gone, and I’m all alone. I was a fool to think that things wouldn’t end up this way
You aren't a fool. Those bonds weren't a waste of time and energy. It's what you make of them. They're lessons and experiences and great memories and unique interactions. Try to be grateful for them and know your life still has yet to have the most amazing and memorable ones yet to come. You're being too harsh on yourself. All we can do is the best we can. That changes even on a whim. Sometimes we aren't capable and shouldn't expect too much from ourselves when there's so much happening around us and to us. Don't lock yourself away and isolate. I'm so glad you're here. I want you to know you're not alone. We're here for you. All throughout life the skills you learn and refine will be useful to you. Even if you think about from when you were starting out socialising until now, maybe you see that all the unique and beautiful people you met and cared about each one was more amazing than the last. That isn't going to end any time soon. It's because you yourself are changing for the better, too. Try to be a little more positive and take extra good care of yourself because you seem to really need it. Much love. ~J
I used to feel the same way but trust me when I say that I found someone Who sticks by me. I just hope you will find a person who sticks by you one day but isolating yourself is not going to help. Everybody has insecurities just know that there are people out there who would love to know you. Also try not to dote on someone too much when you find them even though you do just don't show it because it might seem like you are clingey. I'm no expert but I hope this helps.
I completely understand how you feel. I too have the same feeling. I only remind myself that I have to put a lot of love towards myself more than the love I used to give to others. In that way, I know I have given it to the person who needs it the most: myself. And I will share any spare love to others but nothing more than I can't afford to give myself. All the best. Remind yourself how beautiful your soul is.
