Searching for light
Does anyone else feel the way I do? Like no matter how hard you try or how positive and good you try to be it just doesn't matter because you end up in the same spot you were when you were self-destructive, self-harming, and using? I just feel defeated. I have little to no support from anyone in my family and I am too socially awkward to make real friends so I just sit here alone with my thoughts. I'm reaching out to try and feel a little more heard and supported so if you see my little light flickering in the distance light yours too and say, hi.
@Cw22 Have you ever tried to tell your people how you feel? Like really telling them everything? I believe you didn't because you are sure they will not understand.
Well, people can't imagine what we feel if they never felt in the same way. Or sometimes they also feel the same and that makes them closing in their onw sea shells, blind for what is happening around them.
So, I would advice you to start talking. It might not work the first time, then try again. And again, until it works.
This is better than any medicine or therapy, believe me. And we all struggle to do it :)
Just remember that when YOU start a conversation like this, you are the one in charge. Meaning that you must be the one keeping it calm, understanding that it will deffinitely be hard for others to understand you from the first talk. So don't be disappointed from them and just try to explain yourself better. Ask them what would they do in your situation - that's how they start to understand.
Believe me, when you take off this burden from your chest, things will start to change in a better direction :)
@phannko thank you for the advice. It is very hard for me to be open with people. I will try to be more candid. I'm just scared of rejection. That's what this all boils down to. I'm scared to be vocal because I dont want to be wrote off or looked at differently.