Secret and Shame

I lived in a big family, i have seven siblings, and i have a secret that i been keeping on them for a long time, im "Bisexual". I cannot tell it to them because im scared and i maybe they will hate me for that. Not only scared on my family but also to the people around me, my friends, my cousins,classmates, neighborhood. Keeping that secret affects my behavior, i suppose. I became an introvert, i seldom socialize with other people because im scared that they may found out something on me that they may not like and laugh at me. I only go out in our house when needed, but sometimes i spend my lot of time just watching tv and listen to musics. I seldom talk to my grown up friends, im not used to play, drink or have some fun with them because i refused or just to run. Im always out of their converstion. Everyday is a stress for me. Its really hard to make new friends, when your not being honest to yourself, to family, and to other people. Sometimes i heard people talking bad about me, and sometimes they ask about my identity and always excuse them that i should not be offended, and i always indenial, but deep inside my sadness, disappointment,angry is bursting. I never cry thats the worst of it. I should cry to lessen the pain, but not. And im afraid to myself and to the people around me, what if one day it burst out and i might do something that i may regret. Fear of shame help me not to do bad things, cause it helps me to look forward to result of my actions.