Self-Esteem Issues and How we Combat them
Self-esteem is one of the most significant factors that can lead to depression (and also be caused by depression). From my past being surrounded by people and a culture who focused on physical appearances and a certain image, I struggled a lot trying to keep up with how I look and how I presented myself to others. I became overly critical of myself and dedicated myself to extreme and irrational methods to try to make myself look "better" to others. This fueled a depression in which I found little to no motivation on days when I felt like I looked bad. I couldn't even hold a face to face conversation worrying about how the other person perceives me.
I think one way I got over this was learning the value of my uniqueness and the positive things that I have. My friends and my family really helped me through this giving me positive attributes and compliments teaching me to focus on the positive things in life. Sure I may have been born with some average features, but I learned the uniqueness and the good features I have make me more than confident in myself to move on. Nowadays I enjoy a high self-esteem not because I believe I look really good and found perfection, but because I take satisfaction in being me. My life has its ups and downs and I have my strengths and weaknesses, but understanding these lets me know what I can do and can't do to strive to be the best version of myself.
What are some ways you battle self-esteem issues?
Hey! I'm glad you're getting through and have found satisfaction within yourself! That's truly amazing. For me, i would say all my failed friendships striked a small self esteem issue. I wasn't understanding what kept going wrong, or what i was doing wrong. I kept asking am i even lovable and all these other thoughts. Since then, i have accepted myself and decided that what's for me will be for me no matter what. You can really stress your body out worrying about what other people think. I'm not perfect but I'm a darn good friend and i believe that wholeheartedly.
@244
So glad to hear that and what you affirm about yourself. I know for a fact you are indeed a good friend :) and your confidence really is inspiring! Thank you for sharing your journey with this topic and how your self-esteem developed!
I have to be honest. Where I am in my life right now, I have no idea how to combat my self-esteem issues. They stem from over 15 years of emotional (and sometimes physical) abuse. To this very day, I've yet to be able to find something in myself that I truly value, that I can say makes me someone worthy of being proud of. I guess I just never was able to find a reason to love myself.
@CBliss001
I'm very sorry to hear that. I totally agree how self-esteem can be especially be hard when its derived from years of trauma. I'm sorry to hear that your journey has been a lot longer to find something to get you to that, but I'm hoping and wishing for your continued attempts to find something that you can be content and proud of. Thanks for sharing and your vulnerability!
@sunnyWriting4806 I've been bullied most during my school days and my self-esteem took a massive hit. I'm focusing on myself and i think its improving
@comfortableNight4463
Sorry to hear that about your past! I'm really glad that you've found focusing on yourself helping and I hope you'll continue to progress with it!
@sunnyWriting4806
I agree with everything you said 100% and beyond that, I feel self-esteem is such an important concept to discuss.
The older I get, the more I realize that personality really overrides a whole lot. I mean, I get that physical attraction *is* a thing. And has been the catalyst for a lot of connections. However, as people who've been around longer than me have told me, we all get old, and we all age.
So sooner or later, I feel we all have to come to grips with the fact that, as cliché as this is going to sound, what's on the inside of us is truly going to shine through. And while I would be lying if I said I didn't notice physical features, (again) I'm realizing that who we really are is so much more than our appearance.
Anyway, I'll get to answering your question for myself now, haha. As someone who uses a wheelchair, I've sometimes been at odds with my own looks. By my cheek bones and jawline I am certainly considered attractive by societal standards, but at the same time, I visually present as being an "other."
Throughout my life, and because of this, I've really had to get to know myself on a deep level. And to the point where my self-talk became healthy and positive I would say 99% of the time.
@sereneSunset26 Thanks for sharing!
I totally agree with you about the internal attributes shining through. You're totally right, we all age and we all get older and the only thing that stays really with us is what was on the inside especially to those around us. A journey of finding confidence in my self-esteem was learning that the inside matters a lot more than the outside. Learning to be kind I believe can reap so many more benefits for you and others than perhaps learning how to fix a certain visual blemish. As someone who's relatively young, I've been really trying to reframe my perspective around this, as its hard when people in my age are at the peak of their outward appearances. But it's definitely a journey!
@sunnyWriting4806
I agree with everything you said--especially about being kind.
For me, and I say this with humility and just as a descriptor of my personality, I really don't find being kind to be that difficult. I don't find it to take that much for effort, in lieu of being a jerk, haha.
And while I do wanna believe that most people are (or can be) intrinsically kind, I do notice that sometimes there seems to be a shortage of it. But all that really means for me is that I am extra appreciative of any act of kindness that I receive. :)
@sereneSunset26
Definitely! I'm glad that you were able to recognize and have that attribution of kindness innate within you. I totally agree, working in the healthcare field I've noticed that acts of kindness can go a long way especially in an era where these kindness becomes more rare and harder to see. Thank you for sharing, and you've definitely encouraged me to work on my kindness further!