Story

Hey guys
I found this short story/extended metaphor for describing the depression
ill paste it all in word form
but this link:https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/kayeblegvad/dog-years

that has it more in comic form

My Depression is like

having a bad dog

By Kaye Blegvard

This is a story about owning a dog.

People who know me personally will know that I have a dog and that im fairly open about it ,

But it isnt something I discuss much publicly

I prefer to wait a while to introduce people to it,

Because my dog is difficult

My dog is not a good dog.

When I was born , I was born with a dog

We came home from the hospital together

The dog was pretty laid back at the beginning – a quiet presence

The first time it bit me was when I was three. It was kind of the first time Id really looked at it, and the dog didnt like that. It really got me , I was warier after that.

Then it went back to just following me around , sort of a companion , But one that I now knew had teeth.

I tried not to think about it .

Sometimes it nipped at my ankles.

When I hit my teens, something set the dog off and it went fucking nuts.it would throw itself on me and breathe in my face and put its teeth on my throat. I couldnt shake it off and could hardly get myself out from under it.

Like I said, Its not a good dog

By the time I was fifteen. Id been bitten a lot.

It reached a point where I needed help trying to train this damn dog. I couldnt get a collar on it , let alone a leash

I saw a series of trainers and tried a number of techniques for getting it under control. It took years for that work to pay off. And during that time, I wasnt able to engage with much else.

The dog had my focus

The dog was my life.

The dog does one typical dog thing: its brings me gifts. Most of them are pretty predictable

Some im really grateful for and some I could really do without

The dogs not a guard dog, but it is always watching

Sometimes it watches when I need guarding and does nothing to help.

Other times it gets between me and something I want.

It struggles to identify threats correctly.

At least the dog is reliable. It shows up for me. Im never alone

Sometimes its comforting to see it and remind myself who I am:

I am a dog owner.

The dog has an interest in artwork. A lot of artists have very big, very unpleasant dogs. Work might silence a dog, or at least distract you from it.

But sometimes the dog east your homework, you know?

Sometimes it stops me from working all together.

Sometimes Ive only been able to make lightweight work, snatching the rare moments when the dog is asleep

Its hard to focus on a project when im just worrying about when its going to wake up

On the other hand, some of my work has been directly informed by the dog

I have learned that you can work with the dog, and you can also work to spite the dog.

You can survive the dog trying to sop you, and sometimes you make better work when you have to fight to make it

There is power that comes from the fact of your survival.

Usually the dog just wants to wound me, but at times it has mad attempts on my life.

I did work and I do work hard to survive. But there are many people who do not survive, whose dogs get them. Thy did not work any less

As much as I may have worked to train and subdue my dog, I survived largely by chance and at times against my will.

In general, the dog is quite quiet these days.

It hasnt attacked brutally in years.

Ive learned what provokes it and what calms it.

When it acts out Ive learned defences – moves to break a grip, to put space between us.

Ive also gotten faster at healing when bitten.

I take the dog to play dates with my friends dogs.my cousin has a big dog, and hers and mine get along very well

We each learn how the other handles their dog. The dogs get tired from the company and it gives us a break.

A tired dig cant even be bothered to bark. Its wonderful

My dog doesnt play well with all dogs. Ive met some people where our dogs just riled each other up, undid years of training. And some people who dont even have a dog will just bait my dog themselves.

You learn to recognize when a person is not good for your dog.

O take my dog to the trainer once a week, at a cost of $150 an hour, its the best money Ive ever spent.

And I give the dog two treats a day, every day; not all dogs need treats to remember their training, but mine does

My dog now almost always sits on command, it heels when we walk , and most days it just sleep.

I am relieved to have it more under control, to trust it more.

I credit the level of training the dog has now more to do with luck than myself, but even when its calm it does still sometimes make efforts to show me it owns me .

It barks me awake in the middle of the night , it stand too close behind me on train platforms noses me closer to edges.

I think I will always be keeping an eye on it.

one thing Ive noticed the older I get is how many dogs there are around. For a long time I think I couldnt see out from under mine. But now that its backed off a bit , oi realize that most people have one.

Some of them are bigger or smaller. Or meaner or nicer. But theyre everywhere.

Even a tiny dog can be a bad dog sometimes.

So now, its not embarrassing when mine disobeys me. Its not as scary when it gets riled up , because I know it will eventually clam down

Im not ashamed to be walking this dog

I see that everyone else is out walking theirs too

Stay safe , I love you all and have a safe christmas <3 <3