Stuck in guilt and shame
My family has been a trigger for my depression and anxiety for a few years now. We had a huge disagreement two years ago and we haven't been able to communicate the same ever since. I know that my parents love me and that they want what's best for me but at the same time I wish I had more freedom than than I have. To them, they feel like they've given me everything and all the freedom I could want and that if they're ever hard on me it's because they want the best for me. I feel guilty for being depressed and like a bad daughter for resenting my family after one fight. I don't know who's right in this situation and if I deserve to be upset or if I shouldn't feel this way. I'm so anxious that I'm getting sick and I just feel so stuck and hopeless and I don't know what to do.
@affectionateWillow1084
Hi there,
Firstly I'd like to point that you are not being a bad daughter hence shouldn't feel guilty that family problems are making you depressed. Instead you're trying to address the problem in a calm and appropriate manner which needs to be acknowledged. Secondly, in my opinion you could either try to completely forget about the disagreement or arrange a time to talk about it thoroughly so that it gets resolved. In that discussion, freedom could be brought up like you could explain how you're growing up and you need more freedom then they realise. I think as parents are from the older generation they tend to think that everything they do for us is for our best interests but sometimes its important to really try and make them understand that without freedom we start feeling suffocated. Thirdly, you could seek professional advice and help from a counselor or therapist as they can really help you realise that you shouldn't feel guilt or shame because you are an amazing daughter.
Hope this has helped you. Remember you're never alone and there is always gunna be someone on 7 cups to help you
Do not hesistate to message me if you need any more advice.
Hi there. You are not a bad daughter for having depression. Depression is an illness and you shouldn't feel guilty for it. You are completly entitled to feel however you feel in response to the situation and you get to decide what it is and how long it will last. No one can take that away from you. It's important to remember not to stay stuck there though. You also have the ability to control what you do with these emotions, good or bad. You can only do so much in trying to get your parents to communicate better. Relationships are a two way street and you're only part of that equation. It's important that you practice self care so you have a way to vent this emotion out. Listeners are here for you, if you ever feel you need someone to chat with. :) Good luck and I hope you find peace.
I am sorry that you are going through this
