Suicide Thoughts
Sorry, I justdont know what to do anymore.
First, my mom and i had a small fight again. We're almost always like this and I'm gettingtired of it. Every time she's mad at me, she always say things that make me feel so useless. But when infront of other people like her friends, she always tell them how good i am on my studies. And it makes me think that that's the only thing I am good at.
Second, both my parents don't understand how hard it is for me to be here. It's been a year since we moved from another country and they think that I've already adjusted myself, but they're wrong.
Third, I don't really have a problem with my academics at school but the fact that I have trouble getting along with my classmates and making friends makes me feel discouraged to go to school.
Fourth, me and my friends back home are drifting apart.
And right now, i just can't really think of anything except for these suicidal thoughts. Im thinking they would be better off without me. No one will really care. But at the same time, Im also thinking about my plans in life. I have a lot of things that i still want to do. I just don't knowwhat to do now..Sorry.
I know how hard it must be, having to adjust to a new environment and set out to develop a whole new social circle outside of your comfort zone. I know how difficult making friends can be, and there's nothing wrong about the trouble you're having. You're not doing anything wrong. You don't deserve to experience these negative thoughts over your situation.
As you've admitted to experiencing suicidal thoughts and ideations, I'd like to urge you to contact a suicide hotline to discuss these feelings. A list of such hotlines can be found here: https://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html . In addition, if you feel as though you may harm yourself in any way, please dial 911 and speak to the emergency operator about this.
It's excellent that you have a plan for the future, and a list of things you'd like to accomplish. I promise you, our Listeners are here for you if you ever need to talk about anything. We all care, and want you to feel safe and secure. You deserve happiness moving forward. Please, follow up on and speak withthe professionals at the hotlines listed above. We will be here whenever you need us.