Support for an insecure man dating after abuse?
I met a man online 6 months ago. We finally met after 4 month of chatting, it went so great . We both really like each other and want to get to know each other better. During the time we have chatted time hes gone through distant and depressive patches. Ive suffered through depression and anxiety, and know the struggle all to well so this doesnt scare me.
Hes been so great about my baggage, I lost my husband when 6 months pregnant with a 2.5 year old 2 years ago. He told me he has very bad anxiety especially social anxiety and he doesnt admit to depression he calls it being off but I know the signs. His previous ex was abusive to him, and he is somewhat insecure. 3 months after they split he moved away to a small town for a new job in a new industry.
He has limited support out there, a few new friends and a handful of extended family members. Im travel to visit him in a few weeks, and I know he is still feeling depressed, and this is likely causing him anxiety but I know he misses me and how I make him laugh nonstop.
He was joking once before I knew his history and told me to punch him when he teased me, so I made a fist and made a pretend jab at his chest and he freaked out. Instant fear and recoil. I assured him I wasnt going to hit him and that was when he explained his past. I wont be playing those games with him again even if he was the one to instigate it. I am not the kind of person harm anyone. Hes a wonderfully kind, handsome, and caring man, but I feel he pushes me away as soon as he starts to feel something. I can be patient and he is the kind of man I can only dream of, in every way but this.
How is it best to support someone whos been abused and is I believe struggling with ptsd. Is it best to keep reaching out through the downs or give a wide amount of space so he has room to breathe. We chat 2-4x per week so its not everyday, but I want him to know I care but I dont feel sorry for him. I want him to find his strength to feel like the amazing man he is even if we end up just friends.
