The worst part
Ive been battling this for so long... and the only person who was actually there for me can barely be there because I moved away. So Im just.. fighting on my own. Which is hard. And the worse part is that I cant even call this depression because I dont know if it is. I havent been diagnosed because Im too scared to actually go in. My family is one of those hardcore Christians like diseases are demons and so is depression which I believe to an extent. But.. I still want help. I need help. Im only 18 and I have a whole life ahead of me. If theres a way to fix this, a way to fix me, then itd be great. But how can I fix something when I dont know what it is.
@compassionateCoconut3175 if there is some small part of you that believes you might possibly need help, you should seek help. Unfortunately, I don't know how to get around your family's beliefs.
It is very easy to tell yourself that it is fine, to suck it up, etc. I look back now and wish I knew to do something earlier. I didn't even get to the stage of considering I might need help. I had convinced myself, I don't even know for how long, that it was normal.
I will also mention that GPs can also be very hit and miss because they can be very inexperienced with mental health. If there was some way to find recommendations or see reviews, that might be helpful.
Sorry to hear you are having issues. I feel you are on the right path by reaching out on this site, finding a listener can help a lot, don't get discourage if you have to try a few different listeners, just need the right fit. I also found help in a book by Dr. Jonice Webb, about childhood emotional neglect... it was very eye opening. From there I stumbled up Twelve Rules for Life and that has been very helpful. Reaching out is hard and scary but a must do, I also cannot turn to family and friends, or at least I feel that I cannot at this time. Sucks that the world is so judgy, but that is thier problem, not yours. Good luck. Stand up straight, with your shoulders straight.