Thinking of resigning from job
I'm 4 months old on my current job and I'm already thinking of leaving it. I haven't told this yet to old folks at home: my mom, and my brother, and at work: my supervisors; let alone my co-workers. I'm scared, confused, and ashamed, among other feelings. I'm thinking of waiting to decide until my 6-month probationary period is up when they will talk to me about whether I'd be for regularization or not. But even if they did decide to regularized me, so far right now, I'm more inclined to give it up. The only reason I'm even considering of staying up to the last month of my probationary period because of future employment purposes. Before this job, I had one that only lasted a month, and that's not just a really good record to present on my resume. Two jobs for less than a year, that's feels wrong. It was hard for me to find this job I have now, and I couldn't help but worry how harder it would be when I quit again.
But things at work right now are a mess, I have a lot of pending works to do with deadlines/due dates all close to each other hanging over my head. I'm trying to run as fast I can, it has actually been consecutive days of barely having a one-hour lunch break, but still, everything feels undone for the making of final reports, where everything supposed to be tallied/balanced or whatever my works supposed to be. I just can't wait until I or my clients get penalized with a corresponding amount of money because I submitted their requirements late, even though I know I shouldn't let that happen. And that's the thing, just imagining on how I'm going to get all the requirements together, is giving me so much painful unusual weight in my chest and stomach, making me want to be free from all these shackles more.
Deep down, I know there are a lot of solutions on making my works less hard, like asking for help but I spent most, in these four months, stuck on my work by myself and less on breaking the awkwardness and shame I feel when I talk to them. It feels overdue now for them to actually help me comfortably and full-heartedly.
If I decided to quit early, then, I wouldn't have to deal with more dreadful deadlines, while the longer it takes, the closer I get to our busy seasons, and one of my co-workers told me that they were strict on letting employees go during these seasons.
I'm still confused though because I'm just probably deciding out of fears, anxieties, and exhaustion. I'm scared to leave and start over again: earning months of working experience, adjusting to new people, going through all the process of finding a job and processing all the requirements, unemployment emotions and feelings.
Quitting so fast again makes me feel failure and a hopeless case. I know I'm responsible for this by overthinking too much and bringing my problems from work at home, or too tense to laze a bit in an 8-hour workday, among other things. Maybe because I'm working out of force, I feel that I have to prove something to my family, to everyone, myself, but really I'm working halfheartedly, half-assed, not really doing everything I can, which makes it hard. I don't know. I know all jobs have risks but I don't know, I don't know where I belong anymore.
I'm about to break the news to a few of my co-workers and my supervisor, but I'm still hoping somebody would be there for me.
@fictionjunkie What you do is up to you but I would relaly encourage you to speak to your co-workers and supervisor or at least your supervisor. 4 months is a relatively short time for a job and it may simply a matter of you needing more time to adjust AND/OR your workplace has misjudged how much this can be a burden on a new hire. There is absolutely no shame in that.
Could this be a bad fit for you? Quite possibly. But without feedback from the people who work with you, you may not realize that it's really not you.
Again, it's your choice. But you may be surprised at wht your boss/co-workers tell you. Good luck!
@ReadBooksDrinkTea
Thank you. This is what makes it so hard, relying on myself to decide.
Honestly, I don't know what and how to tell them even though I feel like there are so many things I want to tell them.
@fictionjunkie It may help to do a couple of things (suggestions, feel free to disregard!)
1. You may find it useful to write down what are your priorities/most bothering you. Tackling those things first might make the other issues go easier.
2. You may want to do an initial consultation with your supervisor. Something like, you'd like to chat with them about your workload or whether you've adjusted or you feel overwhelemed (whatever you're comfortable sharing). They may have suggestions of what they'd like to cover or things they'd like to discuss.
Good luck!
@ReadBooksDrinkTea
Thank you for your suggestions. Writing is my passion, why didnt I think of those? I guess Ive been too sad thats why I tend to forget things.
I told my uncle, he wasnt supported about me resigning. He said nobody might hire me anymore for always resigning fast; they might think I have an attitude problem. Im still crying right now.
I also told one of my co-workers and she just said, they have a lot of works than me. That made me feel weak and guilty.
Its late night over here and another workweek is about to start tomorrow, and I just feel scared and sad.
Thank you for your reply though. I truly appreciate that.