Unsure of how to help myself but desperate to feel better

I'm struggling with knowing how to deal with how I'm feeling right now. I just really really wish I had a supportive mum figure to just help me with this because I'm really clueless on how to help myself anymore but I feel like I'm now the lowest I've ever been. I just want to know the next steps and wish I had someone to hold my hand through and the fact that I don't hurts. I just feel like a bit of a clueless child trying to work out "big people stuff".

I'm feeling really helpless and I just no longer have a movivation to get out of bed I feel like I liteally have nothing in my life worth breathing for right now. I'm just desperate and want to be okay again.

I've tried getting help a few times before but they've never gone anywhere and on certain times it actually made things worse (I just had bad luck with a counsellor once that wasnt very nice or professional) but it's meant that I am now even more terrfied of getting help.

Does anyone have any advice for me on getting help/feeling better? I would really any help at all.