Want it over.

I'm 27 with no job and no career. Plus I am fat and ugly. To most it would be just workout work harder to find a position that specks to you, yet nothing is landing where it should. No matter how much I try to fix my application to make me into this amazing person for the position I don't get the job. No matter how much I want to workout or try to, I feel like a joke, like no matter what even if I became a size 2 (2hich is under weight but it's ALWAYS better than being over weight) people will only want me to be a means for an end, they won't care about me and the only time they will worry about me is when I am not able to be controlled or manipulated for their gain. Then when It comes to me actually suffering my own friends don't notice and my family act like care, but when it's someone else or themselves then they expect the world or me to stop and care, but not when I am crying myself into exhaustion because the thought and image of suicide is so strong and pleasing. I don't know why I try to live I just want to disappear or die.