What If: No Friends, No Family Support, No Time, No Money, No "Love"

Here I am reaching out here, because I feel totally alone. Hope this is okay. I have lived with long-term depression since childhood and have felt very bad, sick, and isolated throughout my adulthood. I have felt the loss of my dreams. I always wanted a husband and a real family of my own, real friends, and a good career, etc. but despite my efforts I never yet found any of those things. I went through a lot and missed out on a lot. Especially now, I feel too old/inadequate/different/unattractive to have certain experiences. I don't feel I have anyone to really talk to, as I don't have close relationships and can't afford therapy.

A big thing is I started dating someone for the first time in many years. He was amazing and made me fall in love with him, but after a promising start he now has serious doubts and has been losing interest, and I'm scared I will lose him completely.

I currently have no insurance and no income, though I am looking for work unsuccessfully. Due to lack of money and having other responsibilities that require my time and attention, I am not able to go out much or do hobbies or other activities that might help. I have been struggling to handle certain things I really need to do and have fallen really behind in a way that is causing me great anxiety. I have been feeling very bad lately, but recently started trying a new treatment I think might be helping. So today I thought I was a little better. But things happen to really discourage me, especially things others say or do.

My mother just said something incredibly hurtful. She said that I should face facts and stop trying to have this relationship because he will leave me, because I am too old and "desperate", and I need to give up on having children now that I'm old enough for that to be high risk. I'm really worried she is right and I will have to walk away. What if life will never change, and I will never be better or have happiness?

In general, my family is not really sensitive to my condition or supportive of my health goals. I feel so alone. I just wish I had someone to talk to; I just want someone to make me feel better. Help?