Who am I?
You know I've been depressed for so long and I have lied about it and wore a facade. Years I have done this to the point where I wonder who I am outside of this growing struggle. Who is the person I was before all this? Who am I now if I'm not just my anxieties? Others aren't going to have this answer. Only I can answer it but I don't think I know this answer. It's so simple yet when the question emerges into my thoughts it becomes far more complex.
Do you know what? I've asked myself those very questions too many times for me to remember. The conclusion that I've come to is that the answers to those questions, well, they don't really matter.
If I can use an analogy, it's like trying to describe someone else's face to a sketch artist and then describing your own face. It's actually quite difficult to truly understand and know yourself in real terms. There is so much about ourselves that we don't see and the real shame is that they are the beautiful parts.
The way that you can make someone else feel or the person you are has a positive effect on others. We miss that because of our own internal filter and when you're suffering depression, that filter is either grey or very close to black.
Ultimately, your true self is someone that you express and not see. Depression isn't you even though we may feel as though depression is part of us, it isn't.
At the end of the day, you're the same beautiful person you've always been. Whether you work out the individual features of who you are doesn't matter because that beauty will always be there.
