You can rant here

A place to rant? I like this already. :D

People. From the recent people I've met, they wear masks. Masks who hide their true identity, their true intentions. They hide behind a smile and make you believe they're there for you, excessively praise you to the point you question if there's a catch, and there is....they just use you, they hurt you to the point you can't take it anymore. They're monsters. You need to let go of them for your own sake. As a "good" friend, they should understand that right? They should understand you're not a therapist, you're not a counselor, you CANNOT fix anyone. You can guide them but you can't take the steps for them. I'm not just some empty puppet you can mess around with, I'm a human being. Don't underestimate me, because once I pick myself back up, I will be stronger. Much stronger to fight against myself and people like you. You threatened me several times after every time I tried to leave you, but what good does that accomplish? You're only fooling yourself so how about you look at a mirror for once. Why would I want to be around someone who gets envious from my accomplishments instead of being happy for me? Why would I want to be around someone who just argues over the smallest things every single day? You're just like a ball of weight, and I'm just attached to the chain. Every time I'm actually doing alright, you depreciate me and bring me down. You disrespected my beliefs and dreams when I respected yours. You would get jealous just with me being around my friends, you tried to isolate me from them. I knew you liked me..but I don't have the same feelings for you. There's already someone I love, and I care about her so much. I shouldn't feel guilty about leaving you...because it's something called self-care. It's not selfish of me; in fact, it's the best thing I've ever done. I remember you storming off, pointing fingers at me, and whisper to others of how I was supposedly a bad person. And of course, the people believed, they pick favorites over here and ignore my half of the story. I'm not surprised you would do this to be honest, but it won't change my mind going back to you. Find someone else. I'm not some magical wizard who can solve your problems. I regret meeting you, but it's partially my fault for even stepping foot in the wrong crowd. I wish you the best, but it's time for me to move on and let go. Sayonara.

So a couple of weeks ago my brother punched me in the eye and my mom kicked him out. We told my dad and even with everything my brother has done to me and my siblings in the past, my dad is still making excuses for him. I'm not sure of this is the right thread to rant about this here. But I realized my dad has really never cared about my well-being at all and this situation is the icing on the cake.

My brother says I charged at him and that's why punched me multiple times in the face. But if I did, why wait an hour to come back and punch me? Why didn't he just do it right then and there? There's no excuse for that. I want nothing to do with my dad or my brother at this point. I would prefer to never speak to them again. I'm just glad my mom and other siblings are supporting me.

Im really annoyed right now because 7 cups shut down my listener account when they found out I havent turned 15 yet, which is dumb because my birthday is really soon and its not like Im going to change in that short period of time to become a completely different , more mature person. Also because I wasnt a bad listener, in fact Id just taken the verified listener test, and from the standpoint of a member Ive had a lot of awful listeners that were old enough, but theyre not being shut down, and then a lot of few listeners who lied about their age and were shut down. Thats not fair at all because youre denying people an actually good listener. If I was actually really bad I would understand being shut down because theres a lot of damage you can do as a listener, but Ive never had a rating less than a 41/2 (or a 4 in a specific field). Ive run forum discussions, even one for 7 cups birthday, and was active in the group chats (I was hoping to become a mod) so this whole thing is just really annoying. I have to say though the most annoying thing is that I was shut down without warning so I couldnt warn my long term sponsee. @thatkid15 I love you and Im not ignoring you, please dont feel that way. As I said before my account was shut down but Im still on 7 cups, just as a member now.

If someone would care to explain this bull sh*t rule to me and why I cant be a listener Id like to hear it because this is totally unfair.

Everyone expects me to immediately and seamlessly jump into the role of a fully-functioning adult immediately after graduating high school. I've had a rough time in high school just making it through every day, and now without that structure anymore, I'm a mess. I'll sleep until 11 if someone doesn't wake me up, I can't drive, I'm unemployed, and my life is just in shambles. For the past couple years I've just felt like I've outgrown my life. Like I was an 18-19 year old living a 16 year old's life. Now I feel like a 19 year old that's not living a life at all. I'm stuck at home almost all the time because everyone else in my family has cars, jobs, and lives, but I have none of those things. I can't take myself from Point A to Point B, I don't have any money, I'm not even enrolled in college yet. Most days just getting out of bed is a struggle, I barely have energy or motivation to do anything else. I don't even care about all the things I used to love so passionately anymore. I just feel... stuck, numb, dead. I feel like a ghost or something. I can't do anything right and I'll never amount to anything. I thought being in school was hell, but honestly, I feel like whatever half-life I'm living now is even worse. I want to do something with my life, but I'm just always so tired and stuck, it's so hard to imagine a future when the present is like this.

Hey little sis?

I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this. I'm so sorry that our monster of a mom started targeting you instead of me. Maybe you're not aware of it yet, or maybe you are, but either way, I'm so sorry that you're being abused by her. I know I should have been there to help you, but I'm a coward. I'm crying in my arms while you're pressured to keep your tears in lest the abuse worsens. i wanna let you know that I know what you're feeling, or at least i hope to. I've gone through the same abuse you're going through right now. I wanna hug you, I wanna let you know that's its going to be alright. But, i really don't know. I'm still scared by our mom, I know you're probably scared of her too... She ruined me, I ruined myself. She's one of the reasons I'm depressed, though you don't know that yet. She's the reason I'm barely able to speak on some days, why I get stomachaches out of nowhere on some days, why I probably can't make any friends. I'm a coward, and you should be mad at me for it. I'm mad at myself for it. I've tried it, i've tried trying to help you. But everytime i enter that boundary between safe and risk, I can only back away. I'm so so sorry. You don't know how every day, I'm hoping that you don't develop the same problems as me. I'm desperately hoping every day that maybe she'll turn back to me again and I'll be back in the spotlight... the bad kind. Please babe, just know that what you're going through is probably is my fault. If I weren't so successful in my studies, maybe you could have been in a better position. It's okay to hate me, I hate myself for my actions. and I hate our stupid mom who can't keep her anger in. If I had a choice, I'd save you... but maybe I don't have a choice. I feel so guilty everyday, but fear keeps me from doing what I should do. I'll always be there for you, but really, I wanna let you know that I'm sorry for everything.

I can't seem to get out of bed these days. It's just ao difficult to get up at 7, but instead, tiredly trudging for breakfast at 11:30. And my dad...he just doesn't fucking understand. Threatening me, literally grabbing me by the legs and dragging me off of my bed. At one point he had me crying, begging him to stop...why the fuck are people so insensitive. Sorry I'm a lazy ass who does nothing all day. I can't control that! I try and try every goddamn day! I just can't! Everything hurts! Fuck, maybe it'd be better if I weren't here at all. Then you would've have a reason to complain. Because then I'd no longer be in that bed, but instead in a coffin 6 feet underground

I'm just so tired of this life I'm living. I use a mask everyday to hide my true feelings and late at night I start crying, because I can't keep it all in. I feel like I'm all alone and no one to support me, eventhough I know I'm not. I tried so hard to fix my life, but I lose hope a little more everytime I'm being let down or the support I sought dissapears or isn't helping me. I just keep messing everything up and when I try to talk about it, no one understands me. I already have a hard time talking about myself with someone online, I can't do it face to face with anyone. I just wish I could fix this depression somehow and look up to the future. Now, I'm just scared it will never be okay.

I missed one of my best friends dads funerals because I couldn't get out of bed. I just lay in bed wishing it was me instead of his father. I feel so horrible about it. I'm a terrible friend. He's going through the worst moment of his life and I couldn't be there for him.

I also found out a week ago that I'm going to be a Dad. It was unplanned and the Mum doesn't want me involved because she knows how unreliable I am. I've flunked out of college and can't hold down a job. I don't blame her really. My life is a mess and I don't care enough to fix myself. Or maybe I'm just not strong enough. I obviously want to get better or I wouldn't be typing this out. I worry I'm just too apathetic to make any lasting change.

Hey guys , so these are things i usually keep to myself,but ive suffered some serious depression and pain in my life. I'm a former foster kid, my mother was an alcoholic and meth addict who was put in prison, I,used to have to watch as my stepdad physically beat her and could do nothing at times though when i was 5 years old I jumped on his back with just a pencil in my hand when he tried to hit her with a lamp. There were also times where I was terrified of my own mother, i hid under a table and wet myself a few times as a kid which I'm not proud of. One of the things that really scarred me was from when she tried to abandon me on the side of the road , she said that if i didnt chase after her boyfriend she'd leave me there. She hit me and I was bleeding from my nose and i've had to tell the cops things like i get naturally bloody noses. I was put in foster care at 12 years old and ever since then i worked hard steadily towards all my dreams. But it has been very hard.. I used to cry myself to sleep every night. My foster parents tended to treat me as if i were a tool, meant for yardwork, cleaning dishes, whike their kids would do whatever they want. I was also put in a very bad neighborhood at my first home, and had my money stolen everyday by older gang members, even at school there were gang fights (crips and bloods) and because of that i always tried go be in the background, and didnt have any friends for years. I was sent to public schools, catholic private schools, i never got to stay anywhere for long. I always felt like i was property of the state or something the way i was treated. I got an apartment at 18, and started working two jobs though i graduated with a 4.0 and seriously wanted to go to college, the thing was though no one taught me to drive,my foster parents tended to see it as a liability teaching foster kids to drive, so I would sometimes walk miles at 12am (etc) until i got a bike. I know how others see me, but they dont know how impossibly hard ive worked and struggled my whole life. All this time, as well ive been seriously working towards my dreams, even in middle school, because i believed that no matter what happens i wanted to do what i love one day. Well i accomplished part of it and am able to do what i love for a living. The thing is though i suffer everyday from anxiety ,and depression and all i fear is abandonment. My dad died of cancer, and I also recently lost my sister. My mom has gone crazy after being in prison so long and i have literally no one to rely on, every girl ive ever been with has broken my heart, and sadly im heartbroken right now too. I guess its kindof pathetic but I felt like i had a family for once, people that might love me unconditionally. It felt like i found my place in life.. but she was like all,the others , because in the end everyone leaves and I end up all alone. It's funny i feel i should feel happier, but lately i feel empty inside. I haven't had a drop of hope in years, because every time ive ever had anything good in life it was taken away from me. But still the only thing you can do is continue to move forward. My dreams, my goals, and my happiness they feel empty lately. The girl who left me literally a month ago is now getting married, and ive accepted it, but it still hurts when you love someone so much. Sorry about the long rant guys, but the only reason I could tell anybody all this is because its anonymous. Ive suffered most of my life from depression, usually i can bounce back, but lately its starting to get harder when all you've experienced in life has come with pain. But still Ill try to keep my head up, because i cant give up.

I don't know why I'm here. I have no goals or direction. Just taking up space on the planet. What's the point of it all?