You can rant here
I know how it feels sometimes when you just want to rant, but don't know who to talk too or even if they will care. Well I care. You're not alone! Please feel free to say whats been on your mind lately, if you want someone to talk too or just want to rant away. I will listen.
I have some issues, I seem to overanalyze things. It causes me to feel suicidal, depressed and angry. I have so many problems with me that I cant handle it much anymore, I cry but I have nobody to turn to. I feel like no matter how much people say everything is going to be okay my life finds other problems and its an endless spiral. They say theres help but I... I just dont see them as an option, I am afraid of death but I keep feeling suicidal to the point where Im not afraid. Ive also keep thinking about getting back into self harm and its scaring me, Im terrified that Im making excuses for myself saying inside my head you already ruined your body, might as well release some pain and get it over with.
I don't know what to do anymore. My family laughs at me, i have no friends, the only person i can trust is my bf but he doesn't understand me because he never been through the things im going. I feel like im just wasting people time if only i could disappear without hurting my parents.
I think my anxiety is attacking. I just found out that my condenscending very critic uncles and aunts are here in the house right now and I badly need to go downstairs but I don't want them to see me. I'm worried more importantly that if they'd stay here for a long time, I might not be able to study weeks after weeks again since they truly bother me and it's only 2 months before my board exam. :(
I
I am so tired of this heaviness on my chest and my apathy towards life. I have tried to hard to become a better person and to enjoy life, but to no avail. I've tried being nicer to myself (which has helped me not totally hate myself), but it feels so fake. Honestly, I can't find anything I really like about myself. I don't think I'm a very good person. I don't know. My girlfriend tells me I am, but I feel like she's biased. I just...have no passion - no reason to live. I feel invisible. I feel like I have nothing left to give. I am a shell of a person. There is no life in my eyes. I don't know what to do anymore. I've tried everything and when I say everything, I mean everything. Blah.
Oh boy...
So recently, I got together with a guy I've liked. Wow look at me. Complainging about relationship troubles, oh woe is me...sorry...and that's the problem. My self hatred and low self esteem has not helped me at all. We've been dating for a month, but I feel like he's slowly falling out of love. I don't know, maybe it's just a bit awkward since all our friends now and get all giddy if we even see each other in the halls. I look back on our texts before he admitted and saw how much fun we used to have. How casual and carefree it was. In real life, it was always awkward...but now..all I can do is just blame myself even more. Every little thing I do I criticize myself for. If I eat, I just think "Oh, yeah. Because he fell in love with a fat walrus like you" or "you'll never be pretty. You're so ugly and stupid. He must've been high that night" or my favorite "you're nothing but a clingy bitch. He doesn't love you. He only stays with you because he doesn't want you to make a scene" "he's embarassed of you." "he hates you." "he wishes you were dead"
...he never said any of that. I just get so damn paranoid of this shit. I wish I was normal. I wish I could be better for him. But I can't...well...I can...
I'm sorry. I tried talking to him about this too, but deleted the message. he still got the notification, and questioned me before leaving me alone. Ugh, fuck. Why can't I just be normal?
...
@SpyderPig That's tough. But don't believe the lies you tell yourself. If I was in your position, I would honestly talk to him about it. Really tell him how you feel. Don't be afraid that you guys might breakup. Really consider you guys might not be meant to be. But I would at least talk to him. In a relationship, if things are kept from each other, it causes tension.
Recently I have come across of seeing a love one abusing their partner, when listening to my sister she said the male was manipulative and has also hit the my sister before but why would my sister tear at his face? He
@SerenasMentalIllness I am so sorry you are going through that. Thank you so much for sharing. Please, anytime you need to talk, I am here for you. I will be praying that everything will work out for the best. Stay strong! You can get through this
ive been severely depressed for the last couple of weeks. i was diagnosed with clinical depression at the age of 14 and now as a 21 year old nothing has changed with my mental illnesses. over the years my friend group has dwindled to only a couple few, and even then they have their own lives and things to deal with and i dont want to be the downer and just want the best for them. i will always care more for their well being than mine , so how could i ever tell them that ive been looking up ways to kill my self multiple times because im tired of being stuck in this never ending cycle? my best friend moved away , my other best friend is in rehab and now the only 2 friends i have left are busy with their lives and i dont want to bother them with my problems. i feel very alone and like i have nobody to talk to about how i feel.
@runawayghost I understand how you feel. I've felt that way so many times, and I found it eaiser to talk to people online. I dind't feel like I was bothering them or anything, and it does help. Thank you for opening up and sharing, and know that I am here for you! If you ever need to talk, you can talk to me. You'll never be bothering me. I know how important talking can be
@wonderousSigns7 that actually does help a lot. i dont tell anybody close to me and they have no idea because i feel as if its not their burden to bear and i dont want them thinking they feel responsible for me
@runawayghost I'm glad to be able to help out. Feel free to talk to me anytime
I feel like I'm just here, I'm a small part of so many lives and if I just disappear then people would be upset for a little bit but then move on! I'm only alive because of my animals and some family! When they're gone I will go too! I want to leave now but I just can't bring myself to do it!!! Sometimes when a depressive episode hits and it's so bad I actually consider it and forget about the reasons I'm staying here so I think I might end up going through with it one day soon! I don't want to be like this but I've been this way since I can remember and nothing helps... I've never been happy, I've had happy moments but since I can remember I've always felt like I don't want to be here! I've started cutting again and smoking and drinking, I've tried some drugs and I just feel like it's always gonna be this way no matter how many times people say it gets better, I think for me it just won't maybe I'm one of those people who just won't get better and I've started to realise that and it's sad but true!
@itsmesara I'm glad you've come here. I hope you'll stay around and continue to talk to us. I'm really sorry taht you're going through this.
@itsmesara I am so sorry you are going through this, but I understand. I've struggled with depression and cutting myself. I even thought about ending it all, thinking no one will miss me. But there are people who will miss you. Family, friends. Maybe even some people you might not think would miss you, but they would. Like me. I only just met you, but I would hate to losse you. I know it's tough right now, but YOU can get through this. You're STRONG. Believe in yourself! Don't doubt.
Please feel free to talk to me anytime. I'm here for you. We all are
@wonderousSigns7 Thanks I know that there would be some people that would miss me for a bit but no one would be heart broken and unable to cope with the loss of me and I feel like if I wasn't here they would be better off, I'm always grumpy and annoying and I feel like they would be better off without someone like me and my sad depressed mind. I appreciate your kind words but yeah I still feel awful and don't want to be here. I might take you up on your offer to talk one day when I feel up to it
@itsmesara I recently just lost someone I only knew over the internet. And it;s been hard to cope with. If you were gone, there would be alot of people having a hard time coping without you. I hope things start to look up for you.
And please feel free to do so.
I just really really really don't like "dank" autism memes.
@peachkitty like the ones with spongebob screencaps and the r word and the turned up saturation and distortion
@peachkitty I don't really look at memes much, but those sound horrible. Just hearing about them, is making me mad. People can be really cruel at times, but it's the type of world we live in today. So, when things get you mad, try to take a breath, smile, show kindness, but tell them the truth if something somebody is doing is wrong, than tell them that. If their posting cruel memes, let them know. Sometimes, people just need a slap in the face to wake them up.
