You can rant here
I know how it feels sometimes when you just want to rant, but don't know who to talk too or even if they will care. Well I care. You're not alone! Please feel free to say whats been on your mind lately, if you want someone to talk too or just want to rant away. I will listen.
I can never get out what I want to say, express myself. Not only because I feel like my feelings and everything aren't valid compared to others, but I am terrible at getting close enough with people to have the deep talks I sometimes need (in addition to then feeling judged and vunerable after opening up in the past). The only time I seem to get out things is when drunk....which two years ago was pretty frequent and I don't know what's worse having people know things or just bottling everything up and trying to deal with it when you're gradually loosing the energy to.
@lavenderField2645
It's very hard to share about yourself to others, I understand that. And it's up to you if you want to talk about it or not. I'm here for you if you need to talk
Friday was a really rough day. Im still thinking about it constantly and just want to stop. My medication just doesnt seem to be working very well the past couple of days and I have no idea whats going on with that. My thoughts have been extremely negative, Im constantly crying, Im a quiet person and Ive been talking so much that Im getting on my nerves, I feel like people wont look at or acknowledge me, Im irritable, Im SO TIRED... beyond it Im freaking exhausted. I cant handle this. Its been awhile since its been this rough. Why am I suddenly feeling this way? I cant figure it out! Im telling you, I dont know if its my state of mind that is making me see people view me in a negative light or not be friendly to me as they usually are. I dont know. I just dont know how to explain it. Its like everyone and everything is against me and are all the things against me or it just all in my head!? I just dont know. I dont know what to do anymore. I just dont know is my face looking unhappy and thats why people act this way or are they all talking crap about me and thats why they are acting strange or is it me? Im sorry for babbling on but I need to get this out of my brain.
@PeacefulMiss17
I'm sorry to hear about that. That's very rough. Do you think maybe one person might've acted negative towards you and than you started to feel like everyone was acting that way?? It's hard to not worry about what other people are thinking, but the best thing to do, is not worry about what they think. Just work on getting better. That's important
Yesterday morning I had a dream about my ex. We were still married and I was begging her not to leave, but I knew she was going to anyway. Since then I didn
@Rayboins
I'm sorry to hear about that. That's rough. Best thing to do is let go of the past and look to the furture. I know it's hard to do that, but I know you can do it. Surround yourself wih things that make you happy.
It's an ugly feeling,
Stuck in a loop with no exit;
Clawing for the sunlight
At the top of this pit,
Only seen by a little hole in the future.
Ah, what a life we live in.
@IsshunNoShunkan
I agree with that. Sometimes it feels like we keep going in circles, but things will start getting better. One step at a time
@wonderousSigns7 Yeah. Recovery is balls sometimes. I've been doing my best though, so that counts for something right?
@IsshunNoShunkan
It does count for something!
@wonderousSigns7
All my friends are dead, dying, or owned by drugs. My family is messed up as all hell could be. I'm not in school, gonna have to redo high school now. I'm suicidal af, depressed af, have horrible anxiety, I hallucinate, I hear voices telling me to die, I have a crap ton of PTSD, and I am hopeless af. I'm gay in a straight relationship and overwhelmingly stressed on how to break up with this person, who I do really care about. I'm an alcoholic self-harming druggie, whose every step towards recovery goes two steps back. I'm miserable and tired of myself, as is everyone else, that is why everyone I care about leaves me. My stepdad told me that everyone would be better off without me, god, that's the one thing he's ever gotten right about me. I'm controlling because I'm incredibly insecure. I struggle with anorexia nervosa and bulimia, I just want control of my body, I hate my body, I want to lose all of this weight. I come to this site because I'm desperate and any amount of attention goes miles for me because I feel completely alone and isolated, and invisible to almost everyone whenever I get really down like I am now. I guess that's all I can really type out right now. I feel like I f up my life in the end no matter what.
@skyebluez Life is great when things are under control, and you can enjoy things. Not so great when you don't have enough energy to deal with the basics and are therefore always trying to catch up, but never really getting things under control long enough for those enjoyable moments. I can definitely relate to that, just barely got out of a slump after all (also apparently just found out that I do have anorexia, I guess I was just in denial all this time). No one should promise you a quick fix, since change is gradual and hard to get through. If you do need a hand though, don't ever hesitate to ask for it - even from a stranger online.
@skyebluez
I am so sorry to hear you are going through that. But I know you can get through this, I'm here for you whenever you need to talk. Your life matters, you're an amazing person. I know it must be hard, but just take it day by day, work on one thing at a time.
@wonderousSigns7
first day back to school just ended. i hate my seatmate for shouting the answers so loud, she could wake the dead up. and get this she doesn't say the answers once. no, she has to repeat it like 422 times! we get it, she knows the answers but can't she just stop spoiling for everyone of us who wants to figure the answers for ourselves? i can even barely hear the professor's saying when she's answering. she just impeccably irritates every fiber of my being. i don't think i can stand sitting beside her for the next freaking five months. apparently there seems to be no vacant seats anymore.
@plumField5702
I'm really sorry to hear that. Have you tried talking to the professor?
I
@amiableCat5091
That's tough, but do you think if you talk to them that they would understand you?
No matter what I do it never feels like enough, not for other people but for myself. I try hard but I always see someone better which there will always be but it makes me feel like Im worthless. For example every day I practice flute but all i can hear while I do that is my boyfriend listening to me play a piece I had been working on for a while and saying I could sight read that in five minutes and whatever he didnt realize, and he is a really amazing player but it made me feel like all my work is invalid.
Whats worse though is I feel like I do that to other people and Im just a hypocrite. For example today we got back history tests we took and in English I was talking with my reading group about it. They were joking that I probably got 102 again and i told them that i only got 101. Then they were talking about how much they studied and asked me and I said I only studied the period before. I know that they got worse grades then me even if they werent bad, and I never want to make someone else feel worthless, I just didnt want to straight out lie to their faces. Im a terrible person
@Hamfan77 Sometimes it's hard not to want to feel better than someone else. Especially if your boyfriend (though he doesn't mean too) is bringing you down. I've struggled with the samething. I always feel like everyone else is better than me, so when I finally do something great, it's hard not to want to be a hyprocrite and kinda rub it in. I've done it before, and I feel awful about it. But something that helps, is just try to remember to take a breath before speaking. Think about what you're going to say, before you say it.
No matter what I do it never feels like enough, not for other people but for myself. I try hard but I always see someone better which there will always be but it makes me feel like Im worthless. For example every day I practice flute but all i can hear while I do that is my boyfriend listening to me play a piece I had been working on for a while and saying I could sight read that in five minutes and whatever he didnt realize, and he is a really amazing player but it made me feel like all my work is invalid.
Whats worse though is I feel like I do that to other people and Im just a hypocrite. For example today we got back history tests we took and in English I was talking with my reading group about it. They were joking that I probably got 102 again and i told them that i only got 101. Then they were talking about how much they studied and asked me and I said I only studied the period before. I know that they got worse grades then me even if they werent bad, and I never want to make someone else feel worthless, I just didnt want to straight out lie to their faces. Im a terrible person
I'm tired, I have no more to give.
My parents just robbed me of all of my savings.
My boss is unbearable.
I am in love with a man who my family doesn't know about because they won't accept him.
I can't leave y family behind; that means being cut off from my brother, and I can't stand that.
I recently found out I have a brain injury that will likely take two years to heal.
I can't tell anyone at work, for fear of my job being at risk. But how do I keep up with the demands that increase?
I just want to give up.
@brightTree5008 That's really hard to deal with. I'm sorry you're going through this, but just always remember that there are people who love and care about you. And want to see the best for you. Something that might help is take some time off just for you. Go someplace where you can just be alone away from your family, work, boyfriend. And really look at the problems facing you. Do you really love this man? Is he actually helping you? What type of guy is he?
Do you like the job you're working at? Are you treated well?
Just take sometime to breath. and look at the good things in life
