You can rant here
I know how it feels sometimes when you just want to rant, but don't know who to talk too or even if they will care. Well I care. You're not alone! Please feel free to say whats been on your mind lately, if you want someone to talk too or just want to rant away. I will listen.
I feel more stuck than I ever have, I have many difficult obstacles in my life and I am lacking in the knowledge of how to get out a save my life and I have always been told that it's not good to talk about your problems and I feel like I might cut too deep because I can't express it any other way
@Overflowing103 though you know your situation better than I ever could, it sounds like you really might benefit from talking over your problems. It is definitely not wrong to talk about your problems but if you find you don't feel comfortable doing that with somebody in your life right now (or even if you do) please consider reaching out for a 1 on 1 chat with one of our listeners
I'm sorry this is TRIGGERING
My life everyday:
Uncontrollable pain that comes from my aunt husband
Feeling like I want to cry forever just to see if it would make my pain bearable
Isolated from my other family members that are back in my home country even though the pain wouldn't leave even if I was back home because it's like that there too
Never feeling safe
Never had parents to comfort me never held me in their arms ( I thought that was normal) it's not.
Pregnant with my aunt husband baby and hiding my feelings
I'm overflowing with emotions hard to sort out and I don't know where to start
I am actually overweight but I have been trying to lose weight and cutting calories and exercising a lot but even though I have lost 200lbs in 1 year it's not enough and now I'm 6 months pregnant and my weight is coming and it's MAKING EVERYTHING WORSE I HATE WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY BODY I WANT TO CUT IT OFF WITH SCISSORS 😭😭😭😭😭😭
so my best friend aoife died on march 20th, when she was hit by a car. it was pretty late at night and she was out with her friend when a car hit her out of nowhere. i've known aoife since i was in kindergarten so this was really hard for me to accept. but now that i have accepted it, i feel so regretful. i just, i hate myself for not telling her that i love her, and that i care about her, and how much she means to me when i had the chance. i've already had my grandfather pass away from cancer a year ago so this is really crossing the line for me and now my parents are also fighting on a daily basis and i just have this growing fear of a divorce. i mean, sure, all couples fight sometimes as my parents do, but the frequency has been increasing so much that i'm getting concerned. my friends try and sympathize with me but they cant. my friendship with aoife didn't really rely on taking much photos together or anything and now i hate how i didn't because now i don't have much to look back on. the last two years of her life she moved back to ireland, her home country. ever since she moved, i could feel us getting distant, but i didn't want to admit it and now i wish that i made more of an effort to stay best friends. and the worst thing is, she made this new best friend in ireland named cara, who was there with aoife when she got hit by the car. i know how hard this must be for cara but i can't help but get angry at the fact that my best friend died, and yet cara wasn't even injured at all? i feel so jealous of cara now, feeling as though she took my time from aoife, even though i know that's not right. cara posted this video of all of the photos and videos she has of aoife and her and it made me so sad. sad because i could've made those memories with her. i keep feeling as if aoife 'replaced' me with cara. cara and aoife had a different type of friendship, but i truly believe that aoife was the 'real' her around me, and not around cara. anyways, some nights i feel so sad that i wish that it was me instead of aoife, surely not as many people would care and be affected, whereas i know for a fact that aoife was friends with so so many people, and it's not fair on them, or me, that she just left like that. and the worst thing of all is that i have to hide all of this from my parents. now, i come from a brown family so opening up about feelings and emotions is very uncommon, yet alone on depression. my parents knew how close i was with aoife, but they're the type of people who don't really value friendship as much as family, which of course i get, but the result is that they don't take me seriously whenever i talk about aoife. they think that i should be able to just forget about her in a second, and i shouldn't think too much but you can't just forget about your best friend like that. i'm crying myself to sleep on a regular basis now but my friends and family don't know about how i'm feeling, since i know that i won't be taken seriously, which is why i only have about four or five people i confide in about this issue
@hardworkingNorth7053
I'm so sorry for your loss, I also have a best friend named Aoife and we've been best friends almost 10 years, she's like a sister to me and it would mess me up if I lost her, I understand exactly how you feel about feeling like another person is replacing you because I feel the same about some of her friends but let me tell you something, you were and always will be her best friend no matter what, she loved you with every fiber of her being and even though you didn't get many picture together you'll always have the memories that you have together
I'm very lucky to still have my Aoife, and I'm sorry that you lost yours but I know she'll always watch over you, I hope that in time you'll be ok, you could keep her memory alive by writing down all of the memories you have and how they make you feel
Apologies for the long, rambly reply, your post just made me feel like I had to reach out
@FearlessFriend42268 thanks so much. honestly if anything, i love long replies because i can see the other person really cares :)
@hardworkingNorth7053
I don't know you but you seem like a really kind, caring person and I hope you find your way through this, sending lots of good wishes your way 😊
@hardworkingNorth7053i think your friend knew how much you cared. It's normal for you to have so many conflicted feelings right now toword cara and others. You have had a horrible loss. Take time to grieve and don't judge yourself for your feelings.
Hi I'm brand new here but I figured it would be good to vent somewhere over the hurt/grumpiness I'm feeling that my husband has forgotten that it's mother's day... again. We've been together for 16 years... He's maybe remembered 3 or 4 times since we had our first son (he just turned 12). He just left to go fishing, but on his way out the door made sure to let me know the dog pooped in our hallway so I can clean it up. I just want one day where I actually feel appreciated, you know?
I always tell myself not to get my hopes up. I don't feel like I should have to beg, or give constant hints or reminders that mother's day is coming up. But, it still feels like a kick in the gut when he forgets... again.
Usually I just try to move on with my day but today I feel like acknowledging that I'm hurt by his inattention. I know it's not healthy to bottle up emotions. Other than some small issues our marriage is in a good place. I feel secure and loved and stable. I know it's just one day and I feel ridiculous for being petty but I am acknowledging that my feelings are hurt. My 40th birthday is in a few days and 9 times out of 10 he forgets that too. If he does remember, it's at the last minute and he ends up giving me whatever he can find in a grocery store or whatever.
I am not wanting anything elaborate or expensive. I'd be thrilled to get a nice card or some free wildflowers or anything really letting me know he does care/appreciate what I do for our family. Being a mom is very important to me and I nearly lost my life to bring our kids into our lives (severe preecl
Ugh I accidentally hit the post button.... Just finishing my thought...
I nearly lost my life to preeclampsia when I had our boys and spent months in the hospital before delivering them. I lost 5 pregnancies before we finally had our sons so motherhood is something I really feel I earned... I guess that's part of why it kicks me so hard in the soul when it's forgotten nearly every year.
I guess that's all I have to say. I don't want to spend my day moping and pouting and being passive aggressively sad so I thought I would try this out. I'm looking forward to hopefully supporting others in this community as well.
Thanks for letting me spew a wall of whining! 😏
I hope all of those who are moms are feeling appreciated today. Know that I appreciate what you do for your family and know that you probably sacrifice more than anyone else in your family without anyone really noticing. If your SO is forgetful like mine, know that someone out in the world knows just how much you do as a mom and appreciates it all. ❤️
💖AmericanFrenchGirl💖
@AmericanFrenchGirl
Hey I'm not a mother but I knows what it feels like to not feel appreciated. I've remebered times where I have tried to do things to make my parents happy by doing chores and extra stuff around the house. Yet during those times, they never agknowledged the things I actually did and focused on the things I didn't do. I felt so useless. I was trying hard to make my parent's lives easier but instead I had made it harder by them having to yell at me to do other things I was supposed to do. Now, my Mother tells me that she appreciates the efforts I make but also corrects me when I'm wrong. I feel like the best thing to do is sit and have a conversation. A deep conversation about how you truly feel. Tell him that you want to feel appreciated and loved. I think sometimes we as humans, get so wrapped in our own lives, we forget our loved ones.
I hope this somewhat helps and I hope you and your family are safe!
-4001462
Is it worth trying to get a point across with people who are stuck in their beliefs - probably due to trauma or a different kind of mental illness spawned from trauma - and throw insults around as defense mechanisms during arguments? Is it really worth my mental health trying to help someone to see there are more possibilities than what they believe? Not trying to "fix" anyone, of course. But simply trying to expand their mind. Maybe that isn't my responsibility and thankfully I'm learning insults are nearly always about the person giving them than recieving them. Why do I attract these kinds of people? Why do people feed off of those they perceive as "weaker" and why does someone having a different opinion make that person "weaker" to some? I just want a peaceful mother's day without drama. Yet, I seem to attract some who only live in drama while insisting their drama is everyone else's fault. I'm thankful that in my "real" life, I have a friend who typically is level headed - we both have our moments. I respect her and am so grateful for her. As well as my therapist for keeping my head on tight, for reminding me that I can choose what and who is worth my time and attention. Yet I still get so wrapped up in it. I question how some mindsets exist but I forget things impact people in different ways, causing different mindsets and world views.
@Lexloveslife
I also want to say, "real" life for me means the one only my friend knows about. Where I can be the real me, uncensored, without my guard up around my parents or here, for example. I'm so thankful to have someone like that who lets me be and say what is needed. And, I'm thankful she is willing to engage in healthy & respectful discourse, a gem in today's world especially now with all problems heightened. We're both able to apologize if things get too out of hand - another gem. I don't come across that often in my own life (again, internet people, parents). Being respectful shouldn't be hard. By now it should be apparent that no one knows all of anyone's life and what is said (out of anger, out of hurt, out if self righteousness, etc) could have a bigger impact. No one is there with another person 24/7, usually. I think that is what's helping me too. I dont know what makes people think they're better, smarter, always right, etc. I only know keep and how I can choose to react right there or walk away. Kind of an odd rant, sorry :)
I feel stuck in a loop of misery, stuck in a job that I hate and in a country I hate more because it's harder back in my home country. I hate the fact my mum is always negative and spreading it.. I love her so much but she got to stop this and if I tell her she will not understand. I hate the fact I always end up in one wrong relationship after the other and the break hearts prolong forever, every night tears the feeling of not wanting to live anymore because of the sadness never goes away.
I sometimes wonder if I will ever be happy or if I will find love.
Some day's I wake up and tell myself just accept it and some days I feel like I just want to and get over with it.
@Goldmeow
Hey I'm sorry about your relationships including your Mom. I relate to you about the whole Mom situation. My Mom and I were in a complicated relationship for 2-3 years. It was rough, we would get angry with each other and disagreements on almost everything. She would say things that just hurt my feelings and made me feel bad about myself due to my failed friendships and my grades were slipping. It came to the point where I started growing a hatred towards her, due to the the negative things she said about me to my Father and me. I felt that she didn't love me therefore sparked my hatred for her. Luckily, after I started homeschool, we started understanding each other more and we grew closer. We both love each and we don't get angry with one another as often as we did before.
And the part about being in relationships, I never been in a romantic one therefore I cant tell you how a breakup affected me in my personal life. But for one, I understand that breakups can be difficult to cope with. One minute you happy with someone, next you two just drift away. Im truly sorry about your past relationships, I know that must hurt you. I can relate this situation regarding my family relationships. For a long time, I didnt want to live anymore either. My parents were often disappointed in me due to grades and my lack of completing chores and doing them right the first time. I felt like I was a worthless human being. I didnt feel like I belonged in the family. I thought I was incapable of being loved by family due to the fact that I failed them on so many occasions.
To wrap up my point, even though your past relationships didnt work out, it doesnt mean you are not unloveable. Dont base your worthiness of love on your past relationships and mistakes, it only hurts you more in the long run. As cliche as this sounds, its true. One day you will find someone who loves and appreciates the beautiful person you are, it just takes time. Im sure you are a great person. Hey, you never know the person you might end up being in relationship with, may be closer than youd think. Dont give up hope, take time to appreciate the good qualities of yourself.
Thank you for sharing your post, I hope this makes you feel a little better.
Stay safe!
-4001462
Crying. Feel alone and no one cares how I feel. Everything is changing and no one cares how I feel.
i can't do this anymore. i don't mean to be needy or dramatic but i really don't think i want to live anymore. no one understands what i am going through. all of my friends don't want to deal with my problems anymore. i can't do this. i'm so done.
@Rebecca33
Hey I realized this post was made a couple of weeks ago, and I don't know how you are feeling you right now. Thank you for sharing how you feel. It takes courage to talk about your feelings in the open. I hope life is going better for you if not, I want to start off by saying that it's okay to feel what you are feeling. I say this because you be surprised how many times people have tried to invalidate the feelings you are feeling now. They say things like "You're young, you have it easy." "You don't understand the difficulities of life". "People have it worst than you do, so you should be happy that you don't have to go through the struggles of what other people go through." Just wanted you to know that you feelings are valid and life isn't always sunshine and rainbows, as many people with this 'toxic positivity' mindset will try to drill in your head.
Second, I wanted to say even though it may not feel like it, many people can relate to how you are feeling, including myself. Just a few months ago, I was feeling the same way you do, feeling unloved, feeling overwhelmed with life. I felt depressed. And at these depressive states, I felt that people just didn't care about me, that the friends, and family that have are just pretending to care about me. I felt that I couldn't talk to them about my issues regarding my mental health because I felt that I was a burden and a annoyance to them. I didn't want to bother them so for a long time, I never said anything. I had became sucidial, started self-harming and planning my suicide to the point of drafting suicide letters to my family and closest friends. Believe me when I say, I know how you are feeling.
And thirdly, as hard as this is to believe, your feelings willl past. I know you feel like no one cares, but one of the biggest mistakes I made was not telling anyone. Please tell someone, a family memeber, a friend, anyone even me. I'm sure there is one person who will care about you and help you get better. And if there isn't anyone who truly cares, I promise I care about you, I really do. I hope for the best, and please take care of yourself. This community and I are here to support and help you cope with your feelings. Feel free to talk to me, if you need someone.
-4001462
Sometimes I just want to get violent. But I know that if I do, my abuser will have won because he will have pushed me to respond to him. The best thing I can do is treat him like he is invisible while protecting my belongings, my independence, and my mental health. I have to constantly remind myself this man is likely delusional and my mother is no help so stop going to her. Cut them both out. Ignore them because they do nothing to protect me like parents should.
When my father smirked at me today as he walked out of his dark bedroom into the hallway and I hid the food I was going to eat, all I could feel was rage. How dare this man make me feel insecure about food when I already feel that way myself? Then I realized the ED voice in me is him. Both telling me to stop eating and to keep eating. He probably thinks he's winning at some reverse psychology bull.
Then I thought, how dare he make me feel less safe in the house I grew up in? And I realized, he has always made me feel unsafe. Always saw me as weaker, easy to push around, enjoys pushing my buttons. So.. what if... he has no button to push? What if I confront him by getting rid of "triggers", as they were, and mentally raise my middle finger? I know how the cycle goes. Been there done that. But now, with no triggers, I can be prepared for the worst he has to throw at me. People like him want a reaction from their targets. Ideally he wants me to react as a victim, but he also enjoys the 'thrill' of competing with someone who doesn't back down. So then, do I be passive? I don't know.
So I met this Guy last year at school, and this year we had our spanish class together, and this guy made me feel like nobody has before. I have had the biggest crush on him and finally got the courage to tell him, I told him on February 14, 2020. Yes On Valentines day. next thing I know it actually worked out my way and I got him. We dated for almost a month and I was the happiest I had ever been, All my friends noticed I never stopped smileing when i was with him. I opened up to him which is something I have never done before and when I was around him all my anxiety and stress just disappeared, i felt safe in his arms. Then our one month comes and I can slowly see him drift away. It started from no more I love yous to not sending hearts and eventually he didnt even say good morning or goodnight. We hung out less. He dumped me and said he was sorry and said it wasn't my fault he told me to not be mad or sad or to worry about it he said that he just couldn't afford any distractions and I get that, but it isn't that easy. but he doesn't get how i'm dying, knowing that he probably broke with me because i'm ugly af. I'm still crying over him, and i blame everything on myself, and when i see him i still feel the same butterflies i got since day one. i still love him and when i see his smile, i tell myself i'm happy for him, but deep down i know i wish he was by my side. that he was hugging me and holding me in his arms, that I was the reason he was smileing. Every night I'm up until 3 am crying over him and I just sit there and stare at my ceiling when I can no longer cry. When I feel numb from all the crying, I just want to feel something. I only hurt myself more by going through all our old messages. I talked to friends about it but it feels like I'm only falling more and now I am online trying to get over him but I just can't. Everytime I bring it up to someone like a listener tey tell me to just tell him I still have feelings, and i've tryed i wrote out his text, paragraph that said how i feel and how i still need him and i still want him, but i always back out before sending it.
@2019DOGS
oh my goodness, this is literally me. i remember when i first fell in love w my (now ex boyfriend) and when we broke up i was devastated. i blamed myself no matter how much he told me it wasn't my fault. i stayed up crying and crying and i wasn't eating and he never knew i went through this. it was one of the hardest break ups i've ever gone thriugh. everyone said we were the ones that would end up marrying each other and actually lasting and whatnot but clearly were not together so i mean 🤦🏽♀️ but trust me i know exactly what you're going through. if you wanna talk privately message me. & don't get me wrong this was like maybe about a year ago and i still think about him.. probably on a daily basis not gonna lie. i still love him and sometimes i wish he was still mine.