bad thoughts tw: self harm

I'm on summer break from college and I made the mistake of not planning any activities over the summer. Since I have nothing to do, I've become depressed. I want to get out of the house, but I'm locked in a cycle of self doubt. I feel like I'm not good enough to do anything, so I decide to stay home. Now, I'm worried because I was thinking about suicide. I researched some methods, but I decided to quit because they seemed dangerous and ineffective.

I know that I need help, but I'm not sure what to do. I was thinking about volunteering somewhere, but I'm not sure that I could handle the stress.