help

As a child I have been threw a lot, my mom went threw many guys as I was younger an most of them out abuse me physically mentally an emotionally. It finally stopped when I was sixteen but the feelings are still there along with the night terrors. I seen a doc before an he states that I have ptsd adhddepression bipolar an anxiety. I been trying but my depression has gotten so bad I have no motivation no determination half the time I just lay in bed an sleep or get high because I did pick up a addiction. It kills me every day. I hate not being happy anymore , I don't even know who I am anymore. I lost myself, I used to be so happy no matter what. Now I try so hard to be happy, I just cry cause I feel as if I can't be anymore.. Idk what to do , an I need help.. Please