how to deal with concerned (and pushy!) family members?
does anyone have advice on how to deal with family members who are super worried and try to push you into seeking in-patient treatment?
the situation is as follows: I've been suffering from depression (possibly as a result of traumatic experiences) for probably more than 20 years by now. I've done plenty of therapy, and have been in-patient once before. it's gotten worse again over the past couple of weeks and gotten to a new low when I was let go from my job in november because the company ran out of money. right now, unemployment is the biggest factor that fuels depression, so naturally this is the issue I want to solve first, before even considering in-patient therapy again (a therapist recommended that I go to a place that specializes in trauma therapy, but you gotta wait for 9 to 15 months to get a spot).
my mother is super worried because my depression has gotten so bad since I was let go, and I can't blame her, but she's trying to push me into getting in-patient treatment NOW. as in, before I get a new job. for me, this is not an option - as I said, unemployment is my biggest issue atm and being in a hospital is not gonna solve that. but she doesn't get that and keeps sending me numbers and addresses and hints and stuff, and I don't want to hurt her, but I need her to understand that she has to back off and that her pushing me is making it worse. her messages give me anxiety attacks (fuck, I'm 36, I should not be triggered by her like that anymore. but the worse I'm feeling, the more her hovering and worrying pushes my buttons). it's not like I'm telling her that I'm not willing to get help - I know I need it in order to get better, but she has to let me do it my way, in the order I choose.
so yeah... if anyone has any suggestions as to what I could do to preserve my last bit of sanity and to make her understand that she needs to accept my decision... I would appreciate that very much <3
@caffeineandchocolate It's understandable why you would feel stressed and frustrated with your mother when she constantly sends you numbers and addresses for treatment in your depression; it can feel overbearing and overwhelming. My own mother is somewhat similar and very overprotective of me in a different way, however it can also be stressful for me. While our mothers obviously care, we also want our own freedom to pursue what we want and for you that is finding a job. There is not an easy answer in how to deal with your mother but if possible let her know you appreciate her, but that the texts can feel overwleming to you and that you want her to trust you. If this does not work, it might be best to distant yourself from her if it's not helping your wellbeing. This might seem selfish but you want to take care of yourself. I admire your ability to keep going through depression and it's not something you have to deal with alone, if you ever need somone to talk to about your day or anything, I and others here would love to talk to you:)
@luxx454 thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts, I really appreciate it!
and I'm sorry that you have to deal with a similar situation (although it feels weird to say "I'm sorry about that" in this context, because mothers who care are obviously not a bad thing, but yeah... it does cause anxiety/discomfort/added stress).
I was actually able to tell her that I need her to trust me to know what's best for me right now - it's not that I'm denying the fact that I need professional help to heal, but I need to prioritize things in a way that doesn't cause even more panic about the future.