i don't even know anymore

My family has problems, physically, mentally and relationship wise. But whose family doesnt. I dont see a point to life anymore. I dont want to be here, but im scared to leave the ones i love behind, i dont want to disappoint them. I hate the numb, overwhelmbing saddness i feel on a daily basis and anytime im genuinley happy, im just waiting till i crash. I self-harm, but who doesnt, to feel real. That pain is addictive, but i want to stop. I want to stop moaping in a pit of my own sadness created by my wicked mind. I want to enjoy life again. I want to live.

I do admit that music really helps and if anyone suffering from depression or is just struggling though each day, the advice i would give them to discover different genres and bands to listen to. Become ingulfed in the world of music, it helps me feel alive. Personally i isten to classical, alternative rock, metal, metalcore, nu metal, post-hardcore, etc. But whatever floats your boat m8. Additionally, if your struggling tell someone you know well and trust about how you feel, then you have somone in your life to talk to when things get tough.