i feel like a coward....

i desperately need somebody to talk to but i'm too scared to contact a listener....i'm even scared to be posting this but i just need somebody to answer me. i feel so alone and ignored to the point where my brain is starting to wonder if i'm even real. i have nobody to talk to, none of my friends care, even though i've made cries for help. i don't know what to do anymore. i dont even know why im posting this im sorry