so long
I've been depressed for a little more than 3 years now and it just seems so endless to me. No matter how many therapy sessions or medications I take, I just feel myself spiraling down. Almost like nothing is improving for me. I keep losing interest in things and not wanting to go out places. I have this constant feeling of being sad, anxious and just negative. My mom and boyfriend are very supportive but sometimes I feel like I'm close to being hopeless. I've even been getting chronic headaches but I can't figure out what's causing them. I drink as much as I can during the day and try to relax as much as possible. It only happens in the evening too. I'm not sure what to do or what I need but posting felt useful somehow...
Hi there DisparateYouth. I'm sorry you've been struggling with this for so long. It's not easy or fun to have to be feeling this bad all the time. I've been there (surprisingly, also about 3 years), so I might be able to relate somewhat. It's like you feel that nothing matters and that things are blank out empty and hopeless. Some days you just feel like crying or staring out into blank space not knowing what to feel. You've said your family's been supportive; I'm very glad to hear that. Though, it seems like medications and therapy aren't helping. I'm sorry that they're not working, but I'm not surprised. When I felt that bad, no matter how hard other people tried, nothing could get me to feel better. This is really up to us. Our feelings and emotions can be managed, and whether we feel good or bad is dependent on our viewpoint of things. When you feel depressed, your viewpoint is of an empty and dark space, but you can take a step back, ask yourself how you would like to feel and what you need to feel that way, then you rechannel your feelings toward those things. I can't take away your depression, but I am here to support you whenever you need me, even if I myself am unsure of what I'm feeling or doing a lot of the times.
Also, you said that posting is helping somehow. Well, you can keep posting and vent out your feelings as much as you want here. :) :) :)
You are strong to have dealt with this so long. Its great that your mom and bf support you so well! Some meds dont work for everyone, so dont give up! There could be another med that works best for you, that they just havent give you yet. I wish you the best!
Depression and my anxiety seem to just constantly stay with me......I am tired of feeling bad all the time
If posting works for you ............then post and post. Once you find something which helps then use it.
hey there! I'm so sorry for what you have been going through.I can imagine it can't be easy for you.try not be alone as we feel depressed when we are alone,do your favourite activities and hope for the best.. never loose hope.as depression is not that much of disease... it can be overcomed
i hope my answer somehow helped you,I'll be glad to know that somehow I helped you and also if posting helps youso just keepposting!
just POST IT whatever you want
Many of us have been where you are. There is no right answer for everyone. But there are many good pieces of advice you can try. One of them, one of them WILL work.
In those moments when I have thought everything is just too much, and to quit would be the easiest thing, and quitting may be the only thing that will allow me to stop feeling sad . . . I stop. I remember the kindness that have been shown me. The happiest moments of my life. The truly remarkable and caring people I have met. And I remind myself that there are so many more of the kindnesses, happy moments, and remarkable caring people in my future. So long as I don't quit.
Here, a member wrote that something I said may have been one of the most beautiful things they had ever read. Hearing those words, and knowing that there was a person who actually thought them, just about broke me in half. In the best possible way. :)
Does the memory of past wonder and the knowledge of future kindness cancel out the pain of present sadness. Maybe not. Maybe so. But even if it does not stop the sadness, it can give you the will to know it would be a bad decision to quit. There WILL be future (and maybe even present :) ) joy in your life. Do not miss out on that. :)
Lastly, try and remind yourself what quitting will do to others. The sadness you feel will only move to another. For me, knowing the power of those horrible feelings, I cannot allow myself to do anything that would transfer such horror to another. Especially not one I care deeply about. This has given me strength. Power over the feelings that threaten to hurt others. Inside you, there is that strength too.
There are words out there, people out there, that are so mind-blowingly kind, that they will knock your socks off. Try your best to allow them, your memory of them, and your well-founded understanding that there are many more to come, to help you find that strength.