will it stop
I don't know if I'm depressed or just it's been some bad days. the way I see it I can't be depressed I'm alwyas smiling and laughing I don't want people's pity or think that my life sucks I don't what I want, I don't know why am I sad for I sitting here in my room with these thoughts that I feel like they are slowly killing me and the only way I can't fight them is by being a' extrovert that's how I fought my whole life by stoping myself from thinking I always thought I don't these all these friends all I need is someone besides someone who truly love me that's why I've been searching my whole life getting rejected and reject but I never found that special connection and sometimes I feel it's the purpose of my life I feel like out there there is someone who just by looking at him I can cheer up but it seems we will never meet but it's not the point does it really matter should I keep looking or should I give up and let myself drown in my thoughts cuz I don't know what will happen after that
@ivoryLion829 If you do a Google search for "smiling depression," you'll see how very possible it is to be depressed on the inside and smiling on the outside. It's a defense mechanism.
I also heard a news story a few years ago about therapy robots, and how they are better at picking up depression in humans from facial expressions than human therapists are - because depressed people smile *more* than non-depressed people. It's just a mask.
As for finding someone who will make everything better, I'm afraid it doesn't work that way. It's very common for people suffering from depression to engage in this fallacy of thinking: that a job, person, or more money will make us better. But the work is much harder than that, and it comes from the inside out, not that outside in. It's also not a good idea to be dependant on another person for your happiness, and it's not a fair burden to put on them.
There are many ways to distract yourself from your thoughts: work on your growth path, read one of the 7 Cups self-help guides, go for a walk/exercise, start a hobby like knitting (I do it while listening to podcasts, so it takes more focus) or coloring, or learning a language (Duolingo), or playing an instrument. You can also learn to work with your thoughts, through cognitive behavior therapy (Mood Tools app), which keeps them from having so much power over you. They are just thoughts.
I don't mean to make it sound easy to overcome depression. It's not easy, and depression is painful. But if there is anything you are motivated to work on, any of those are healthier ideas than putting energy into a relationship you think will save you.
@Alia3475 I don't see my self depressed I mean I could but I just can't admit it cuz I just think that I can't support loneliness when I'm alone in my room with my thoughts I can't stop them but I do my best I've been dealing with this for years I'm sure I can do it and I've been working out for more than a year now and it's been helpful I like to see it as a sadness in my life that will go there is a quote of bob ross "gotta have a little sadness once in a while so you know when the good times come"
@Alia3475 as for depending my happiness on another person it's more like having more happiness in your life it does not mean you weren't happy without him but you just want someone there for you to share those good moments and even the bad times cuz it's hard to get trough even if that's how I always get trough by getting some times with myself and analyzing what's wrong what should I do but having someone as I said that cares about you as you care about him would be so helpful