Am I really lonely 1/2
Sometimes even when I'm surrounded by people, be it family or classmates, I feel like im on my own
Sometimes I feel like I'm being left behind as the world keeps moving forward... My friends are moving on to university and jobs while in still stuck because I left sixth form and went to college after the first year.
sometimes even though i try to explain to my mum that my memory is really bad and im a bit too forgetful and daydream too much, it's immediately passed of as I need to focus more. Pay more attention and I try so hard to but sometimes I can't help but tune out when someone's talking.
my family is big especially in my mums side but I stuck out like a sore thumb and not in a good way. I'm too different, too weird even though I'm only trying to fit in.
at school the two girls I hang out with are only there for me because the pity me, as no knee else will willingly talk to me. People can say you need totes, you need to put yourself out there... But what is out there for me to be a part of.
unless I start conversation there won't be one. I can blend into the background and no one would know or care.
There isn't anyone I can talk to in confidence. Someone that won't lie to me and only pretend to want to help as people have done in the past.
sorry this is so long and it feels like more of an essay. I sometimes write my feelings into a book on watt pad. It helps but it's also a cruel reminder of how sad and pathetic my life truly is.
Who ever reads this thanks forreading
2/2
sometimes I feel like im the only person in the world, that no one else can see me because I'm so useless that no one can be bothered or even want to see me.
my life has become repetitive and boring to say the least. Even when I try to fill the day with things I like such as art and Music and books I can't bring my self to do it anymore
I when I do its always a half hearted effort and probably wasn't worth the effort.
Consistly people in my life have told me I need to grown up, pay attention, to listen and to start acting my age. Sometimes I can't help what I do or say. Sometimes I only do certain things because I see other people do it and get a good response. But when I do it or something similar say tell or joke or join in the banter it's suddenly weird and wrong.
It makes me think why I even try
why put yourself out there for it only to be shoved back into your face.
why try when you know that nothing will come of it.
The worst thing about all of this is I've come to accept it. I have come to accept that I won't have many of any friend and will likely grow up alone. No relationship, no family of my own.
i can't pull myself out of this and there is no one to help me do it.. So should I even bother to in the first place ?
Sorry this is so long, no one knows this except me and now whoever reads this ..
@LittleMissNoBody7
I completely understand how you feel. I also have friends but it seems that i have to do all the effort of being friends. If i do not ask them out i do not hear from them. I also notice that when they are planning trips they do not even invite me and i have to see pictures on social media to know they did something. When they go out with me they always claim to not have any money and expect me to pay all the expenses, but when they are without me they can share the bills. These are small things i know, but still. My family does'nt count me. They go out to eat on birthdays and such and call me when they are already at the restaurant, like really? My job now requires allot of interaction with people and oddly enough i can have good conversations with them. Why am i having such a hard time with my personal life whereas i have no problems with my professional life. I tried to put myself out there just like you but where do i belong? When i go out somewhere i do not recognize anybody and even if i did they do not come to me to converse, if i try to start the conversation they come up with an excuse to leave. I usually just hang back in the crowd for hours thinking what the hell am i doing here, i rather be home. If you took the time to read this far , thank you. All i can say is you are not alone and the problem isn't you. It's just people suck sometimes, well most of the times.
@KiraSan4u
thanks for the advice and the same goes for you too. People suck and it can be hard to accept that not everyone will like me.
i completely understand the family thing. I try hard to be the person they want me to be. Mature, sensible and grown up and the second I'm not they have a go at me. I can't joke around without being told to stop.
my sisters could be laughing and joking at the thing with me but they never get told off. Sometimes family suck just as much as other people
@LittleMissNoBody7 going and reading the 2nd part I completely understand what your feeling. I actually just got back from a trip out of service, my boyfriend and I finally got service and his phone BLOWS UP with notifications. I laughed and my phone not once turned on. He looked at me oddly and I explained I don't have any friends. My "friends" are not the people that'll hit you up when your down my friends won't hit me up to hang out I'll get invited to events because I'm always with my boyfriend. But other than that I'm home alone. When ever I'm in a big group I stick to my phone stay quiet and listen. People ask why I don't talk. Well not much to talk about when no one wants to talk to you? Am I right? Or when you have no say on the subject that's at hand? I have better conversations with myself half the time. I know these feelings that your going through love and some things I've learned that if we truly love ourselves no matter what anyone tells you about yourself you'll never truly need anyone to make the best of yourself for yourself. (Example if someone says well you look funny with glasses on *i wear glasses* and if I think I look good I simply tell them well thank you for your opinion but I like myself the way I am) for me I personally like the background but at times I will step out of my bounds. But my first step was honestly loving myself and new friends/better friends will finally came around.
@LittleMissNoBody7
Hi there! I'm sorry you're feeling so low. It's hard to find the motivation to keep trying when you feel ignored or invisible. But I noticed you still enjoy things, even if it's hard to keep enjoying them in your loneliness. Music and art are the passions of an inspired soul. Maybe you never saw how much more beautiful you are, not in spite of, but because of everything "weird" and different about you. Everyone else is smiling and their lives look like picture perfect instagram profiles. And that's not you. You're not posed and fake. You're candid. You're real. And everything you feel is more real than everything you see in the plastic social media profiles you might be comparing yourself to.
How long have you been lost in that loneliness? All this time you just didn't know your smile was the most radiant and infectuous of all because of the absolute joy you felt and caused everyone around you to feel. That precious smile before you taught yourself to pretend, to curl your lips into that half-hearted grin you have to try so hard to wear to hide the heart that's breaking just beneath the surface. And ok, I'll admit, what I'm saying is so out of the ordinary, so far from the ordinary, you might recoil from it's strangeness. But I hope, I sincerely wish for these words to move something in you, to show you that this world is so much more than you've seen, and that somewhere in it there's a place just for you with people like you, people who want to be your friends. Don't be afraid to find it.
@ShadesBluer
thank you for your kind words and advice.. I'm actually crying (in a good way) it's been a while since someone has spoken kindly of me and actually wanted to motivate me.. So thank you :)
Hey I wanted to tell you that as I read your post it brought tears to my eyes because I understand I'm sure people have said that but I really do I'm 29 and I only have 1 friend and we never hang out he's married and I always feel like the third wheel he and his wife have tried to fix me up with a few of her friends but when they see me they get this look of well I see it as disgust because I'm a big guy they never even try to get to know ME they just judge on what they see loneliness sucks I wish I had some deep and philosophical words for you but all I can say is you are not alone I how you feel always remember when you are feeling down you are not alone I that post here when that happens and I'll be happy to post back we can be alone together :)
Also you are not nobody
@Tiredandalone88
thank you so much you have no idea show much your words mean to me ..
I really wish people were a nice in the real world
@LittleMissNoBody7 I understand but remember I am real and here for you I may not be a listener however that does not mean I can't listen ;-)
I didn't think I would post on here again but since I have no one to talk to here is the only place I can get this off my chest.
being lonely is horrible. It's miserable and you feel like you are the only person in the world but your in the dark and scared. I wouldn't wish this feeling on anyone and have definitely made some enemies.
a few years ago I had a close friend who started to push me away, isolate me and bitch about me behind my back. So I confronted her and stopped being her friend. As a consequence she cut me out of the group, I had never been bullied or left out before. My supposed friends went along with her and ignored me.
That time was the worst 2 years of my life. I had no one. No one could ever understand what I was going through. It all hit me hard one day and I broke down in the bathroom at school. I couldn't breathe or stop crying.
@LittleMissNoBody7 first off I'm glad to see you post again it's been awhile and I was worried because I consider you to be a friend and trust me when I say there is nothing you can do to push me away. Now I have been in the same position as you in the past many many times and I'm only 29 so that's saying something but I learned that you have to follow your heart if you think it's the right thing to do trust that your instincts are right I do in the end it's better to do the right thing then turn a blind eye to wrong doings but I also believe in honor and and have a "code" that I follow I guess that makes me old fashion but none the less I don't think you should blame yourself for what happened it the other people's fault for doing what they did I know it's hard but try not to blame yourself for the actions and reactions of others and like I have said if you ever need to talk here for you we can be lonely together
@Tiredandalone88 thank you
deep down I know it's not completely my fault but I can't help but feel it is. Nothing I do seems to help me keep friendships, or even make new ones.
Ive tried but it just seems like I have given up. Sometimes I just can't be bothered to try because I know that it will result it me messing things up and being alone again.
I can't help it, and the few friends I do have have gone to uni and we have lost contact. Maybe I've pushed them away but sometimes I don't want to talk. This could go on for days or weeks, where I don't want to do anything.
Thanks for being here for me and if same goes for you if you need to talk. I have been told I give decent advice. I may only be 18 but I can still try and help :)
@LittleMissNoBody7 thank you and I will I hope my advice helps and like I said you won't run me off trust me on that and I understand every girlfriend I have had turned out to be using me for money and the whole time they cheated on me with someone I considered to be my friend and because of that I closed myself off and went several years without any friends but I finally took a chance and have 1 friend I have learned that it's not how many friend you have but the quality of them that matters and I said I have 1 friend but I would like to consider you a friend and that would make 2 if you ever feel the need to talk or vent or whatever I'm here for you and I WILL NOT judge you so don't worry about that
Your FRIEND,
Tiredandalone
@Tiredandalone88
thank you :)
@LittleMissNoBody7 Anytime 
@LittleMissNoBody7
I hope I can be your friend. I'll listen to anything you'd told me
@Mochamie
thank you :)
Hey I was thinking about you just want to ask how are you feeling/doing are things any better even hopefully not worse let me know ok
@Tiredandalone88
hi, not doing much better I'm afraid.
Thought that some people in my class were alright but turns out they are just like everyone else.
They don't like me and have no respect.
We went on a class trip to winter wonderland Monday and everyone abandoned me. I was on my own for most of the trip. Which is fine I still enjoyed it, but for the time I was with these two girls was awful.
I tried out a game where you have to climb and twisty ladder and ring the bell at the top. I asked them not to film because I don't like being on camera but they did it anyway and wouldn't delete it when I asked.
Then to top it off I said I just going to the bathroom, while they looked at a stall and I said i will be back. This was just before we have to leave, I came back and they had left me.
Things just are great right now
@LittleMissNoBody7 first off I'm sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you been busy at work. Now those girls sound like they are not worth your time they would be LUCKY to have you as a friend I know I consider you to be my friend and I feel lucky for it. I also have had a similar experience as that when I was a senior in high school I went on a class trip to six flags in Atlanta and the only problem is I was forced to be in a group that did nothing but poke fun at me the whole time so I wasn't able to enjoy the trip at all. I'm sorry things are still ruff for you but remember I'm your friend and I'm here for you your not going to scare me off I'm like a lovable bad penny you can't get rid of me easily :-p. I hope things get better and remember to keep posting so I can help
Your friend, tiredandalone
@Tiredandalone88
thank you I'm happy you consider me a friend already and I like to consider you one too.
Your support has been amazing and this is first time I have properly opened up about my feelings.
I am about to face the girls again tomorrow as today and yesterday's were not college days, so I'm a bit nervous. But all the kind things you have said to me will stay in my mind as I get through the next couple of days.
Wish me luck 😅
@LittleMissNoBody7 I am wishing you an infinite amount of luck and I'm glad I can help you I don't wish the loneliness I experience on anyone especially a good person like you :-)
Honestly I didn't expect anything different.
i thought that would at least all talk to me. But now I'm completely ignored.
I don't know why I still try
i give up, I can't put myself through the pain of trying to make friends when everyone clearly hates me
theres just no point, some people are meant to be alone and I guess that person is me
@LittleMissNoBody7 Hey now don't think like that if nothing else you have me as a friend i know you only know me from this site but still i'll be here for you i'm sorry they are ignoring you but if they dont't see how lucky they would be to be friends with you then it is their lose not yours it took me along time to learn that but trust me on it. just so you know if i was there we would still be friends 
nothing is going to change that
your friend, Tiredandalone
I don't know how long can keep this up.
i feel so outcasted by college and even family.
Christmas is supposed to be a happy time, but strangely I can't bring myself to be happy with the family as I know that they don't like me.
We have nothing common and judge every desicion I make, every thing I do or like.
I have things to look forward to next year. 3 month trip and uni but sometimes I lay awake in bed and think about if I will even make it till then.
my birthday was a few days ago and only family and two friends wished me a happy birthday. I thought (hoped) that some of the decent girls at college would too.
They didn't obviously
I just don't know what to do anymore
@LittleMissNoBody7 happy belated birthday! I too know how you feel being with family. I feel like a stranger with mine. You are definitely not alone
@Unicornzero13
thanks 🙂
@LittleMissNoBody7 you
@LittleMissNoBody7 I'm sorry I didn't reply sooner things are crazy right now at work and I'm moving at the end of the month. I know its late but....HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!🎂🎁. And MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!🎅🎁. Im sorry your holidays were ruff its the same for me I'm the black sheep of the family so I understand. I hope your new years was a little better o that reminds me.. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!. And remember if you need to talk I'm here for you😉