Break-Up
Hallo all. I'm Amanda. I used to be fine when I was alone before. But then I got into a relationship for three years. But then suddenly because of the long distance, my ex found a new girl which is closer to him. Yes, we broke up because we couldn't keep up with each other's situations anymore. Within months, he asked her out. Knowing that, it was very depressing for me. I used to be fine by myself. He accompanied me for so long and I got to depend on him. What can I do to overcome this loneliness? Especially amidst the pandemic, I couldn't reach out to anyone in my real life, because I know they have things going on in their lives as well. What should I do? Please help.
Hello Amanda
Breaking up is always going to hurt but with time, that hurt will fade. Small solace, I know, but true.
When we're in a relationship we define ourselves as part of a couple. There is comfort and security in knowing there's someone who will love and support you. Losing them can leave us feeling bereft and abandoned. It's usually worse when the other person moves on quickly.
When the relationship ends, we're left wondering who we are when we are no longer part of a couple and that is an opportunity. What were you excited about before you were with your ex? What would you like to explore now that you have the time, energy, and emotional bandwidth? Finding a new creative outlet can distract us from the pain but it also "wakes up" those parts of yourself that were set aside while you were involved. There are loads of groups online and irl that share your interests.
It's worthwhile to spend some time doing personal work to determine what you want from your next relationship as well as what you can offer. Maybe long distance isn't a thing you want to do again after this and you only want someone who's close enough to visit/see regularly. That is a sane and valid choice that you get to make to help you be happy.
Hugs from an internet stranger who's been though this and come out the other side, just as you will.
@Katbtrying552 Thank you so much, dear, I believe there's a light at the end of the tunnel, but I just can't see it right away. For now, I feel bad for myself every time I see his posts, feeds, or stories on social media. He seems fine, though I don't know things behind the facade. I just want to get over him soon. It's been too long, these past eight months.
Hi Amanda. Thanks for sharing. I’m going through something similar, but with no closure. It’s definitely made me into a depressive person. I’m trying my best to overcome it, the pain is really deep. Please keep sharing your feelings about this. It may help others in your journey to some coping methods.
@ashjoleigh No closure is really hard to face. I hope you're okay there. How do you cope with things, if I may know?
Thanks for sharing your story. I am going thru something similar and its def hard to deal with the pain. I was single for 8 year to get into a relationship with my best friend and ending things 8 months after getting together. As you said before i was fine with being single and now I've had a glimpse of a relationship for the 2nd time ever im not sure how to be alone again without feeling depressed. Joining this group and reading your story is comforting knowing someone feels the same as i do. Keep striving for the light at the end of the tunnel as i do the same.
@Lainey87 I believe we are the same kind; true blood introverts. It felt hurtful whenever I remember how I opened myself to that person. But it's all already happened. There's no way back. How could we move on? Faster than ever, I mean.
Hi Amanda. I am also going through a very painful breakup. 🥺
@lcgirl22 Hey you, it's okay if you want to share. We're not always coming here or even replying fast, but I believe your story matters for us who are facing the same pain.
Hey there Amanda!
I got broken up with as well during this pandemic. Break ups aren't easy and they aren't suppose to be. I am still in the process of healing myself from it, but things have gotten way better. Don't stop yourself from feeling all the emotions (I would cry everyday). Personally, I took on new hobbies and find out ways to value my alone time. Also, being able to complete certain things that I never got around doing, during my relationship, made me feel a lot better.
Healing is very lonely, but you choose growth over company and thats all that matters! Sending you the biggest internet hug!
@blossomingpisces I will absolutely hug you back, dear. Uhm, I don't know how to cope well actually. There are still any mood swings here and there, especially because we are in the same circle, and I still see him. For me, it's kind of immature to cut off all kinds of contact. But for now, I just don't know anymore.
