Dealing with prejudice and wonder if if it's why I'm alone

Im still having trouble finding a long term listener. My last one seems to deactivated her account. I'm also having a really intense 'anxiety' attack for lack of a better word. I can't say if it's a true one. But I was just in the crew bar on this ship and had to hurry to my cabin. I'm 31 and am finally realising that the world without colour that I wanted to live in doesn't fully exist. I'm sat here wondering why I'm single or why guys look right through me. Maybe it's because they are just assholes, but I'm staring to wonder if it's because they automatically disqualify me because of the colour of my skin and kink of my hair.

I've never paid attention to this stuff before because it seemed to not effect my life and I wanted to believe it didn't exist. But now, 2 years single, and not even one guys ha said hi to me who wasn't in a relationship already. I've heard some xo-worker express their prejudices and I wonder I that is what others who don't know me see. Everyone who knows me talks about how amazing and beautiful I am. But they are all taken. Maybe I'm doomed to suffer from prejudice perceptions and be alone forever no matter how much I try to be myself as not be boxed into anyone else's perceptions of racial identities.

It's not fair...I'm alone, intelligent, interesting, beautiful, easy going, and sexually aware yet still I'm seen as some caricature. :( I get overwhelmed just thinking about it whenever I am surrounded by guys who look right through me no matter how well dressed and friendly I am...it makes me want to run away and cry in my room