Depressed
My spouse left me for someone else and it bothers me the thought of her attached to him, thoughts in my head of them together doing exactly what we did. I have alot of hurt in me and can't find nobody myself. Maybe I'm not good looking maybe it's my lack to make ends meet or maybe a bad trait I need help with. I literally feel like the ugliest dork ever i honestly can't seem to find someone else. I know situations like this requires time I guess but it's hard having patience while depressed or bothered.
@brightLemon239 if I am in your shoes, I would hate to imagine they're doing the things we are doing together :( I know sometimes not finding someone makes us feel undesirable as if we are lacking something... but we do have flaws, all of us, I'm sure even he has flaws. As cliche as this sounds, if he can't accept your flaws when you can accept his, then you deserve someone who can accept you for who you are, all in the package.
and of course, being depressed and bothered will make healing much harder.... but we are here and you are not in this just by yourself, you are not alone :)
I'm sorry you are going through this. I am also in the same situation and those thoughts make me sick to my stomach. I find that listening to audiobooks before sleeping helps keep them at bay at night. You are not ugly or bad looking, these situations take the most damaging toll on our self esteem but it's just not true. Take some time out to dress up, make yourself feel good and spend time with some friends. You will soon realise that you have plenty to offer :) being in another relationship will feel good at first but unless you change how you view and see yourself, it will all be in vain. You are worthy of love and everything else. Don't let his actions have a negative impact on who you are. He doesn't control your self worth. Once you become confident within yourself, the right kind of guy will come around if that's what you want. But who ever said we needed a partner to be happy? We are whole people within ourselves. Partners just add to our happiness. Best of luck.
@brightLemon239
Yes same here
I can exactly understand what you are going through, and trust me, it's nothing about your looks.
It's absolutely understandable that you may feel disheartened, depressed, and low.
But, get it clear, whatever happened wasn't your fault alone, so stop blaming yourself.
It's neither something you should feel guilty about nor is it easy to forget. But it would help if you moved on.
Revisit yourself. Identify who you are without your partner. Talk to someone close enough you trust. Engage yourself in something you love and appreciate. Do it wholeheartedly and not just because you have to. Establish your self-worth again. Find your soul again.
I'm really sorry you have to go through this. I know how much it hurts. You need time to heal and it's not easy. You need a good friend and something you really love like a hobby or a fulfilling job to see you through these tough times. You will get better just hang in there.
@brightLemon239 I'm sorry for what happened, but please know that it has nothing to do with your looks or any faults you find with yourself. Depression makes one be unfairly critical of oneself. You have so much to offer, you just can't see them right now. And when you don't see your worth, you will always interpret the world as not seeing them as well. This will all go away and most of the time these times of darkness, once you process them, become seeds of a brighter, more conscious you. Then you will be ready for someone you can connect at a much more satisfactory level if you want a partner. Your relationship with yourself is primary, the rest just flows. Blessings...
