Don't feel wanted
I've never had friends ask to hang out with me, I'm always putting efforts into friendships and its tiring. I'm happy on my own but it doesn't help with the loneliness. I want someone to care about me, what's so bad about that? I'm sick and tired of people shaming me and calling me needy just becuase I won't people to speak to me. As time goes on I lose less and less interest and people.
What should I do?
I don't think that asking your friends to hang out makes you needy, it just means that you'd like to spend time with them and interact! Its the best way to strengthen those social bonds, of course. But have you considered alternate ways of hanging out, especially during the pandemic? Phone calls, texting, emails, Skype?
I've actually started having phone calls with my dear friend since we can't see each other in person now; I'm more likely to catch coronavirus because of my MS and she has to take care of her grandparents, so neither of us can risk accidentally infecting each other. So in addition to emailing or texting we chat every few weeks or so.
I get how you feel and I hope it gets better, okay?
@integrityblues I message them all the time and get no replies. They only respond if they need something. I probably should've mentioned that. I highly doubt it gets better.
@Essexlad987
I'm sorry that your friends behave that way. It isn't kind at all.
I'm not going to suggest anything as extreme as dumping your friends to find new ones, but maybe try to look at their actions from a different perspective. Friendship is a two-way street, so I usually have to remind myself that when I give more than I take (or at least I try to) that it isn't fair of me to question why my friend doesn't do more, or at least as much as I do to participate in the friendship. It's just that we have different responsibilities and demands on our time- she has an entire extended family pulling her this way and that, demanding that she does everything for nothing.
So I tend to force myself to be more considerate of her time, even when I'm going through something difficult. When things quiet down a little things tend to balance out.
Hey there. I understand both points of view. But here's my take.
While I personally try to understand that everyone have a weight to carry and people are busy (I can't be the center of attention) I also understand that "I am there when you need me" is not true either, even for me.
In one hand, yes, some friends will agree to hang out or at least kepp a vivís chat conversation, but most people misses the mark and either leave you hanging without a response or don't have the time to hang out, ever.
I am always left as seen on chat groups or PM, If I don't play the same games as others then I don't have a direct link to interact with these called friends and no matter how bad I feel, I don't like the idea of entering a voice chat channel when the 6+ people are doing 3 different things, mine will be 4th and I can't really concentrate on what I am doing, on the conversation or interacting with others. So what's left? Force myself to do stuff I don't feel like doing (for porpuses of the example, play the same video games as others), keep gently asking to do what I like (again, for example, play a game I like) or stay in silence hoping that someone will notice that I am gone.
The first one makes me feel not fitting.
The second one, after the third time asking, makes me feel needy and desperate.
The third one makes me feel unwanted and forsaken cause most people won't notice and I'll stay in silence.
Guess which one I am in right now...
(sorry for the rant)
@KizuZero
No need to apologize, dude. Feeling this sort of way sucks a lot.