Green grass in a vacant lot
-Did you know it's possible to do everything right, to make all the right choices and still be alone? I have to admit I can't think of any single reason why I should feel so lonely. I'm doing good in life, I've been so lucky I can't even tell you. I have a loving family that would do anything for me. They understand me. I did the right thing in school, I took a major that would take me places, I even went all the way through to get my masters. Chemistry I love it, I love it enough that I can deal with the politics of the workplace. After many many attempts and many many failures I actually managed to find a job that I adore. I even managed to find some really good friends. I know of maybe 5 people that understand me without talking, when I visit them I walk in and we just start talking it's not "I haven't seen you forever let's hug and catch up" its of course you're here cuz you're here. I love it it took me years to find that and I absolutely love it. I even managed to find several more friends that I can count on if things get rough. I can tell you that not having that hurts a lot because I didn't have that for good 25 years. I have never given up hope I have forced myself outside my comfort zone, I even managed to move to states where I knew not a single person for hundreds of miles and find friends. Most of that started even before I knew I had anxiety. So yeah I can force myself, I've done activities, I've met people I've reached out hundreds of thousands of times to other people but somehow I still stepped wrong. How is it that I made all the right choices that somehow I know nothing about love. Seriously I know absolutely nothing about love. I've tried online dating, I've tried to date a couple of guys, but I did not love them. Now I am in yet another new place and trying online dating yet again. Dear God it sucks. Recently I met someone online who seemed awesome. But after a ridiculous amount of drama he has been blocked. Hit me like a freight train because I usually am so careful, but this one was sneaky enough to slip through the barriers. Now that's over, and it's probably a really good thing that fool is not in my life. But that boils down to the same situation, one I have dealt with before and will weather again. Every night I go home, clean an apartment that no one visits, eat dinner for one, and fall asleep curlded up in blankets and pillows because it's almost like having someone there with a hug. -
Good to know that you have done a lot of good things in your life. That you never gave up and have the ability to force yourself to do things out of your comfort. And look at the results now after 25 years.
1- you come from a close knitt family
2- you are successful in your carrier
3- you have worked hard to develope meaningful friendships
Problem = You are still single
Man, honestly i'm a dozen years older than you and i'm nothing near to what you have achieved in your 25 years of life. I can only relate to this part of your life. LOL
Every night I go home, clean an apartment that no one visits, eat dinner for one, and fall asleep curlded up in blankets and pillows because it's almost like having someone there with a hug. -
I have a suggestion, how about inviting some of your friends to your apartment and do something you all like? You know how normal people with friends do? Like maybe watch a movie, eat dinner etc..So then people will come visit your apartment. And you will not eat alone all the time. Hows that?
But i completely understand that you still have not found the one very important person, your other half. I have read stories and also got to know somebody who had trouble finding that other half. And you know what happen? They ended up marrying their old friend in the end. All i can say is like you have never given up, so continue searching for that person, but also having good friends like the ones you have is always a plus.
@Kate30
I forgot to bold "eat dinner for one" 