How To Survive Mother's Day Without A Mother around
There's no denying that holidays designed to celebrate a special bond in your life can be especially hard when that bond has been broken. I've found that turning the day into a chance for reflecting, reconnecting with people I care about, and letting myself feel however I feel, works well.
If your mom is around maybe you can visit with them, maybe a long weekend if they are far away or send them a card and call them. Your mom would appreciate you contacting them.
How will you be celebrating Mothers Day?
@DanaMH This is a topic that hits a nerve... I am the survivor of a mother with a personality disorder. I was severely emotionally abused and neglected. I had to choose no contact to save my life and heal.
I simply ignored this holiday every May as it hurt to see all the ads and signs in stores... The images of happy people with mothers that were there for them. I never had that.
I now realize that I had a person in my life that was more of a mother than my biological mother could be - That was my great aunt. I will remember her and all the times we spent together.
Thank you for creating this thread.
@goldentown96
Sorry that your mother treated you that way and it is so awesome that your aunt was that special person for you in your life.
@goldentown96 I can't begin to imagine how difficult this this. I'm glad you are able to come to realization that gives your own meaning to this holiday. Thank you for sharing!
@goldentown96 You described precisely what I went through with my own mother, and how painful it feels every year on Mother's day. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Please know you're not alone. I imagine we're both doing our best to get through this difficult period. Here's hoping for better days to come. <3
*hugs if you're comfortable with that*
I would just say there is a mother in inside of you too.
@terrytee, @MollyCule , @DylanxYuzu , @Erato , @LePapillion , @Pureriver55 , @onedirection1213, @PhoenixAsh , @thoughtfulPillow12 , @Emmur , @MarshmaIIows , @DanaMH , @peacefulBubbles40 , @specialEyes53 , @deba ,@butterflyPessimist,@lunaira
Yeah, Mothers Day. Never had a mother figure so I never celebrated it. When I became I mother myself I was excited for the holiday. However influences with my in-laws meant that I was overlooked on this day. My status and being as a mother is not as important as others.
So I decided to seize the day. I thought I cant wait around for other people to acknowledge me. My boy (he is two) and I spent time going to lunch and park. Doing nothing important but wow it felt amazing. Just us in our world.
What a perfect day. ❤️
@Rea100
One thing we did when my kids were that small we made cards for different things. You might have him try coloring a Mother's Day card so when he grows up you can show him what he made.
@DanaMH
that is a lovely idea! Thanks for that!
For Those Who Hurt On Mother's Day
Today is Mothers Day.
For many people that means flowers and handmade cards and brunches and hugs and laughter. It means celebration and gratitude and rejoicing.
But for some it just means tears.
For many moms and adult children out there, this day is a stark unsolicited reminder of what was but no longer is, or it is a heavy holiday of mourning what never was at all.
This day might bring with it the scalding sting of grief for the empty chair around a table.
It might come with choking regret for a relationship that has been horribly severed.
It might be a day of looking around at other mothers and other children, and feeling the unwelcome intrusion of jealousy that comes with comparison.
Consider this a love letter to you who are struggling today; you whose Mothers Day experience might be rather bittersweet— or perhaps only bitter.
This is consent to feel fully the contents of your own heart without censorship.
If you are hurting; hurt.
May you feel permission to cry, to grieve, to be not alright.
May you relieve yourself of the burden of pretending everything is fine or faking stability or concealing the damage.
May you feel not a trace of guilt for any twinge of pain or anger that seizes you today, because it is your right to feel.
Above all though, may you find in your very sadness, the proof that your heart though badly broken, still works.
See your grief as the terrible tax on loving people well, and see your unquenched longing for something better as a reminder of the goodness within you that desires a soft place to land.
If on this Mothers Day you are hurting, know that you are not alone.
May these words be the flowers that you wait for or the call that wont come or the conversation that you cant have or the reunion that has not yet arrived.
In your profound anguish, know that you are seen and heard and that you are more loved than you realize.
Be greatly encouraged today.
I will share this beautiful video every Mother's Day to be reshared to those who no longer have a mom/mum around to love and cherish.
I just wish I could find one as beautiful for those who do have their moms/mums around to love and cherish.
@BeautifulBreeze
That is so wonderful and I was thinking of my grandma that was so special in my life when I saw that. Thanks for sharing with us.
@DanaMH
You're welcome. 
I'm with you on this.
I lost my grandma back in November 2014. We were extremely close, like a second mom to me.
