I am tired keep on learning but no community in my life

In my whole life I have been lonely.

Even I had school friends, they are superficial and they were my sister's friend not mine.

My parents are over protective and force me keeping on learning, I ended up to be a researcher.

Research community is only for elite.

Even I am old, I don't have good role old model. 

I studied and worked so hard but my tenure is limited and future is completely dark.

I always feel that life goes worse and worse.