I have nothing
I'm married to a woman who only uses me for work. There was no intimacy after the first two years (married 20+). I have no friends and she makes sure I have no time to dedicate to any. If I'm not working at work, I'm working at home. Every two weeks, I'm able to "steal" 2 to 4 hours for my largely unsatisfying hobby while she's at work. I have Asperger's and don't handle social stuff well so maybe it's for the best. But I still feel so damn lonely ALL the time.
@dynamicTurtle3264
Hello there. Thank you for sharing. I understand how you feel in so many ways, as an autistic married for 15+ years with only bitterness to show for it. I was diagnosed about 10 years ago, and for the past two years I have been very grateful to find a supportive, caring, and loving autistic community online. I felt so alone until I found that, and now it is better and even leads me to believe I might be able to escape my marriage before it extinguishes me.
I am glad you are here, and I am glad you wrote. There are paths and ways to better, I promise you. I'm not all the way there, but I've made progress in 2 years. I know it's not perfect, and there are different struggles (this week has been rough for me, for example), but I do feel that I am on a path to better, and that there may be a way.
I am glad you are here. Please don't give up.