Im losing so much of my young life

I broke up with my ex 3 years ago. We remained as friends but she insisted it was never a good idea to see eachother in person again (she lives 70 miles away so itwas never easy to anyway).

In 2020 over lockdown she lured me into loving her again and i cant get over it. Shes now moved for university in September and before she went she told me she actually still likes me but itd be hard because of distance but she didnt like me that much as she hooked up with 3 guys inside a month. I feel she hates me and i still love her. If she told me i was the worst person in the world id still love her... over the past 2 weeks shes almost basically taken me out of her life.

I have a lot of stuff going on, dealing with personal family grief, stress of my job and degree, financial difficulties and a lack of self esteem in my appearance but I feel everything with her is worse than all my other problems combined. I have unsuccessfully attempted overdosing but I think it was a weak effort because I was scared but a part of me feels I should really do it. I have nothing left and every day is filled with depression, anxiety and stress. I work, study and spend my free time in bed. I either consume under 400 calories a day or eat over 5000 a day. I either sleep 2 hours a night or 12 hours a night. None of my hygiene is balanced and I am always mentally and physically tired...