I've lost track
My dog was my main treatment for my loneliness. She passed away last month and I also had one of my best friends pass a week earlier. It's been difficult, I know I have friends I can go to but I'm scared. I don't want anyone to feel like they have to put up or feel bad for me... and I also don't want to feel like I'm a burden to their time, so I've been dealing with it all alone.
I don't really know what the point of writing this was, I guess it just needed to come out.
@considerateNectarine3083
I am really sorry to hear about your losses, my sincerest condolences. 
It can be really difficult feeling alone, and it is very reasonable to feel scared about reaching out to friends for support. How do you feel like they may react if you reach out to them? Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, that takes a lot of courage. You are not a burden, and we are so honored you have joined our community. We are all here for you!