Lonliness being the biggest part of me
I've always been a lonely person even as a child never had many friends and my family where abusive and very toxic but as I've got older now 28 the only lasting thing in my life is the loneliness I'm at a point where I have no friends I spend all my free time alone sitting around waiting and watching time pass getting older lonelier. I thought it be different people always told me "it gets better" but it doesn't I'm under this huge weight of lonliness and despair I don't even know what I can do anymore to not feel swallowed by this big dark cloud, I've tried to meet people to make friends but maybe there's just no place for me in this world after all I've always felt alone
Hi there,
I'm so sorry that your experiencing this alone feeling. I understand just how painful it is. Just thought I'd share a little. I had a severe abusive childhood too. After decades of feeling alone in a crowd so to speak I started to get professional therapy to help. I have learned that I was unable to " connect" with others because of my distrust of others. I was rejected and emotionally abandoned as a child and it affected me deeply. I wasn't aware until recent events just how much this hurt my ability to form close relationships. Now that I am aware of this deep distrust I have I am working to change and am learning how to connect through therapy. Fortunately for you, you're young and have your whole beautiful life in front of you. If I had known at your age what was going on with me I would have made different choices. I am trying to improve the very few relationships I have and am looking for solid new ones. Not easy to do but I'm trying.
Best of luck to you. You deserve every great thing this life has to offer.
ABB
Hello!
I got a kind of similar experience as you too! I grow in a toxic family as well, most of my memories of my family is my parents arguing, or fighting, and they just got divorce recently after 30+ years... And for some reason my mother is not in a good terms with my neighbor and we moved house a lot as well... I always solo'ed my group assignments during college years as well, got a pretty good grades, but I drop out during the last year's because I had fights with my final project group mate, and it IS compulsory to do it in the group for that final project as well...
Now I kinda picking up communication skills, but I always felt like it was just too late for me... It just very difficult to make friends when we're adult... But I still trying, even though I failed a lot, being that uninteresting, boring guy people always thought of me of... Recently kinda notice that asking people "how are you" got you marked as a boring guy? Huh... I didn't know about that...
And... Ah apologize for my ranting... I don't think I qualified to give you any advice as well, since I'm still trying to climb that huge mountain of mine, but instead, I want you to know that you're not alone, and I willing to be your friend as well!
I'm looking forward for your reply, and sorry again for my long rant!
Idk if ur still here but I totally feel the same right now!
i hope it gets better for both of us