My friends make me feel lonely

My family loves. I know that. But they are just unable to understand how i feel. I have some friends. They are getting less and less as years go by. The few that I’m still close too, don’t really care that much about me. Maybe they do, but they don’t show it to me. I listen to them and understand them. I feel with them when they have a tough time.when they are happy I’m happy with them. I do everythi To make them feel comfortable with me. I want them to know they have a friend that will do anything for them.

maybe I’m just to egoistic to expect something i return. I want them to care about my feelings and listen to me when i need to. I dont want to have to tell them, that it’s my turn to talk. I want them to want to listen to me.

its been a long time since i felt that someone enjoyes listening yo me. I miss that feeling. Well i know they care about me in different ways. But i really need my friends to be emotionally there for me. Maybe i am just expecting to much out of a friendship. And i too should not be that kind of friend to them. But its hard to just stop now and distance myself. I have tried and they noticed and asked me why i am doing this. Because they already know me like that.

i feel really alone. I feel worthless. Like nobody cares if i am upset or not. They wont ask me if i am ok.