My lonely life/a reluctant cry for help.......

I'm a 25 year old guy. I've always had trouble making friends, which can be easily explained away because I have this autism spectrum disorder no one cares about called "nonverbal learning disorder". Google it, you'll find that everything about it you'll ever see looks like it was written in 2001.

When I was little, I was always the clumsy kid who was picked on for things like picking my nose and making a fool of myself whenever I tried new things. My mom tried to get the teachers to help me but they mostly wouldn't listen because "how can anyone pick on him? He's a good kid." I decided to make an effort to withdraw from everyone after that.

I sort of tried to make friends in high school, but again, I was the easy target. After a year or two of being an outcast from everyone because I was basically a little kid in a high school guy's body and being told I was a loser, I kind of just gave up. What bugs me is that there wasn't really anyone there who wanted to help. I didn't really bother trying in college.

I've been doing better the past couple of years. I lost over 80 pounds and I feel like I sort of have friends at my part time job now. I still feel messed up from this stuff though. For one thing, I don't think a single girl has ever been seriously interested in me. It would be nice to know what that feels like, but I don't know how to meet girls, and online dating is useless since I'm invisible on those places. It would also be nice if I had a group of friends that I felt like I could trust and talk about stuff like this with.

People get passionate about things when they're younger partly because of friends who come into their lives. This didn't happen to me because it felt like everyone rejected me, and this feeling of not caring about anything is a dark cloud stuck over my head. I still care about improving myself though, so that's something at least.

The hardest thing is for me to ask for help. On the surface, I don't look like someone with problems, so it feels like everyone rolls their eyes if I ask. So, I guess this is a cry for help.