So I realized why I'm so sad lately..
I went home (to my parent's house) this weekend and I realized that the reason I've become so depressed is because I'm living on my own now, even during the summers (usually I go home for the summers). Where I'm living just doesn't feel like home, my roommates are just random people and while we do chat sometimes, they aren't people I'd consider close. It feels awkward to be in my own house most of the time.I miss living with family in a place that I feel truly comfortable. All of the stress and the loneliness that I feel living by myself just goes away as soon as I'm at home. Don't get me wrong this is a nice place to live for the school year when I'm busy with schoolwork, but during summer when I'm working, it just doesn't feel right..
I guess it's just a sad realization, cause I can't live at home anymore. I'm too old (almost 22) and stuck in a lease anyway. I just wish I was closer to my family. The only person I'm close to in the city I'm livingin is my bf, who still lives 20 minsaway and I only see him twice a week. This makes me super dependent on him, as he's my only close companion and confidante. It puts a lot of strain on our relationship because I rely on him to be my everything - my family is far away, and I don't have any close friends anymore. All I have is him, and it's not healthy to rely on one person to meet all of your needs, you know? I feel like if I lived at home and had my mom and my friends back home to lean on and talk to, I would be a much happier, healthier, balanced person. I always used to be 10000x happier when I lived at home.
I guess this is just a rant. I needed to get it off my chest. If anyone is in a similar situation I'd love to hear about it.
Hello. I think the feeling is normal whether or not you are under a medical condition. I'm from the Philippines and I was born and raised in Manila (the capital). In college, I left for Baguio (the coldest place in the Philippines) to study and I found myself in the same shoe as yours, so I know the feeling.
But if you are under a medical condition like "anxiety," it may not be as easy. And I have it now -- a mild form. So I definitely understand if it hasn't been so easy as you think.
Firstly, bite into the bright side of every circumstance by identifying the support group you have like your boyfriend and the people you're with every time -- your university colleagues. You may not be so closed to them as yet but they can possibly provide you comfort. Of course, never disregard your own family because they're the ones who will withstand anything for you. But your situation now entails you to stand firm for what you think is right; it's about your future where your family won't be there all the time. Therefore, you need to desensitize yourself.
If there's one thing I learned from my condition now, it is the fact that we can't allow our fears to overcome us all the time. It will affect our ways of living.
Try to focus more on other things you think can help you divert your energy -- exercise, special classes, or any recreational activity.
Secondly, change your routine and lifestyle. As said, you have to have a diversion of energy, and the best way to do it is to find something you love doing like your passion. It sounds tough for now but soon you will realize there's so many options for you out there.
Lastly, if you're a believer, establish a strong relationship with the Almighty. Or with your god (whoever it is that made you). In my case, prayers have helped me get though it all.
No skype or close equivalent? Time to get to those downloads. You're already and presumably, easily online.
You're homesick. That's sweet. Tell them. Your parents will adore you all the more for it. Especially given you live far, far away :p
Above's advice is cute. Hobbyist groups will both waste you some time and give you a few unexpected connections. Get closer to your roommates if you feel particularly lonely. It's always hardest to make mends with those under the same roof and since it doesn't seem you need that, you've got the clear go signal to newer, deeper friendships. Surround yourself with talk as much as activity.You study and there's definitely a group to make a circle or two. A belated, capital Congratulations on reaching the independent world! All of us still study-at-home hermits laud and will envy as much as anticipate your example. You're doing real good, hang in there!
