Unwavering Feelings if Loneliness Always Validated
I'm 32, I've always been afraid of dying alone. No lover. No partner. No friends. I feel like I'm just too different. Oh, people find me sweet and tell me how good my 'energy' is. Yet, my best friends have mostly abandoned me when I needed them most. I have no one I feel I can completely confide in. I finally decided to give a man who had been pursuing me for a year a chance. Everything was going so great that we became exclusive quite quickly. I went away for work for just six weeks and I have no idea what happened, but even he who had tried and waited so long and who was happier than he'd ever been and said he would never leave me...broke up with me over email two and a half weeks before I'm meant to come home without even giving me a valid reason really...
everyone i meet either just uses me for advice or begs me to be in their life and then leaves...I'm starting to feel like life will never get better and be safe enough for me to relax and be myself...
@warmheartedHuman2014 That's so tough. I'm sorry. People can be so confusing and frustrating sometimes. I can understand something of how you feel because I've always had a hard time making friends and letting people in, too. It can feel awful when you give someone a chance and they end up disappointing you. Kind of makes it hard to want to do it again, right?
Being different is 'hard'. It makes it tough to 'find your people'. Those of us who don't fit the mold, whatever that is, seem to have to work harder to find people we can forge relationships (not just romantic) with. I totally get it.
I will say that you seem like a really good person and the nice thing about being 'different' is that when people do click with you, they really appreciate you. 'Different' often means 'interesting' - and 'interesting' and 'sweet', that's a winner.
It's OK to feel disappointed. I'm sorry it didn't work out with this man you were seeing. But relax. Hang in there. Never lose touch with the things that make you different - love them and others will too. You have lots of time for a happy ending. Lots. It's going to be OK. Trust me.
@BurkeDevlin aww. Thank you. Those were such sweet words. I'm trying to hold on. I was almost thinking this guy was 'the one'. He too is different and he seemed to be on a path of self growth, but the closer we got, the more he seemed to loose control of his emotions. I just wish I had one friend who I felt truly got me. I love my family, but I am totally different than them.
Thank you you again for your kind words xx
@warmheartedHuman2014 Hey, you're welcome! Sometimes another person just has some more growing to do, and they need to go in a different direction for a bit. Please don't take it to heart.
Keep on living life to the fullest, be yourself, and people will come along who'll love to hear your stories and laugh at all the funny parts. The tides of life sometimes sweep people away for some unfathomable reason, but they always bring new people in, too. And it all makes us wiser for the experience, if we're willing to learn.
Just have to keep the door open a little bit, if you can. I hope you can.
Have a great night!
@BurkeDevlin thank you. I'm trying. I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. I feel like I am doing so much work on myself and that I am a loving person who tries to be understanding. But, it seems that I keep getting all the short ends of the sticks in life. If I'm doing something wrong, I'd like to know so I can stop doing it...but I don't even know what's going on right now...or where to meet people who are at my level if it's just a matter of me hanging around people who aren't ready...and it makes matters worse because my mom can't handle her own emotions and has closed herself off to them. So, I have no one in my life who I can count on for a shoulder to cry on. They all just tell me to suck it up and get over it...