What helps me with loneliness

I have dealt with varying periods of loneliness for basically my whole life. It's always been hard for me to make friends, because I'm autistic. Things got better for me in 2018, when I got a wonderful job at my favorite restaurant. I especially enjoyed being the mascot. We all know what happened in March of 2020, right? Right. And while I have been able to go back to work, social distancing means that mascotting is out of the question right now. The things that normally made that part the best part for me - hugs, hi-fives, handshakes, and crowds of excited, happy kids and a smattering of excited, happy adults - are dangerous now. I'm sure that, while the specifics of my situation are unique, I'm not alone in feeling rather lonely. Doesn't everyone feel lonely sometimes, and especially this past year and even now?

I feel like talking about some of the things that have helped me. Some of these things might seem strange or childish, or might be cost-prohibitive for some people. I get it. But I want to tell you these things, and maybe you could tell me about some of the things that help you.

- Keeping my imaginary friends. I made this decision around age 8. I was sitting by myself at the lunch table, all 3 of my real friends out sick that day, and I began to reminisce about some of the pretend friends I had made up at a much younger age. I decided to bring them back into my life and keep them there. Even now, at 22, I still got 'em. In addition to helping with loneliness, they are a nice little creative outlet, as it is fun to create new things for them to do and new scenarios to happen with them. It could be something as normal as that we are all chilling on the couch, as wild as one of them growing out her toenails so she can hang onto tree branches easier, or something in between. We play invisible card games, they come with me to work, and I even celebrated the main one's birthday recently.
- Dolls and plushies. You can hug them, play games with them, practice social situations with them (very helpful for someone like me), or just chill with them next to you. One particular doll that helped me through quarantine is Cricket. Cricket is a doll made in the 1980's with a tape player in her back and animatronics in her face. She can technically play any tape, but her eyes and mouth work best with the official Cricket tapes. I got mine on eBay pre-quarantine, and when I found out that I was not going to be seeing any of my work friends for months at a time, I really was glad to have a little pal to tell me jokes and stories and sing songs with me. The company that made her, Playmates, also made her a little brother named Corky and an older sister named Jill, but I don't have those dolls (and, in the case of Jill, I probably never will, because she is just too complicated). Over the course of quarantine, I had help from a friend of my mom's to collect up a wide range of Cricket outfits and tapes, and since Cricket is around the size of a 1-year-old baby, I sometimes dress her in my old clothes from when I was a baby and other baby clothes. But as cool as clothes are, the talking part is the main feature that helps with loneliness. Any doll can get dressed up. Not just any doll can tell you her own versions of classic fairytales and folk stories and move her mouth and eyes to look like she's really talking. And not just any doll will sing you a sweet little song about friendship. 🎶 You're the very most fun I've ever found, and you're my friend...🎶

- Distractions. If you keep yourself busy enough, you might forget how lonely you are for a little while. Could be chores, errands, crossword puzzles, video games, books, solitaire, music, whatever. Anything that keeps your brain busy. Obviously, this won't replace social interaction, but it's something to try if you're really desperate.

- The internet. You're here, too, and you are probably here because you're just as lonely as me.

Let's be real: loneliness sucks. But these are the things that help me. What about you?